New, waiting for my Grey baby to come home...full of questions about the future...

[autte]

Hi,

We currently are waiting for our baby to come home next week at around 12 weeks old. Unfortunately, i've spoke to a friend and her family member owns a conure. I was given some horror story and now am very nervous of what the future may hold for us. As I mentioned earlier I will be the primary caretaker of the bird (I am an at home parent but my girs will both be at school the youngest for 2 1/2 hrs and the oldest all day), my husband will be involved with some but works and I have 2 girls 7 and 4 years old. (The story I heard about the conure was that the bird has put a stain on the marriage since the bird gets posessive of the woman and the hubby takes a backseat to the bird, the had to sell their camper and cannot go away since the bird will pluck all its feathers out when they were away, even with a caretaker, its kissed their nephew sweetly and then a second later bit his nose and he needed 6 stitches, the bird calls out to be fed in the morning as soon as it hears a toilet flush (sometimes as early as 4 am) and it will throw the food at them if it isn't wanting that particular food and it also came to the point that they cannot have company since the bird will get so loud it becomes a problem. This has scared me to death...thinking what if my bird (even though its different) might do this.

 

 

Do you have any behavior issues like this with your Grey or is it all in how they are raised in your home? Will they learn the habits of your family? I was so excited for my baby and am now full of all this worry after hearing the horror....I want my joy back!

 

What is life like with your Grey? What is the typical day like? Do you work outside the home and your Grey spends some time alone during the day? Do you have issues just going out to the store for an hour or 2? Enlighten me on what it may be like.

 

Thank you for your help.

[rawleyd]

hi and welcome.

I had the same worries as you before I got my baby grey 2 months ago. I only had to deal with 2 days worth of small bites before she became lovey with me and now she never wants to leave me.

she is only almost 5 months old now, and she tolerates my family holding her every other week. doesn't make tons of loud noises, doesnt make huge messes with her food and takes all new activities, people and exciting events very easily. she is nothing at all liked I feared she would be.

 

I believe that this has to do with the way she was raised. i got her from a very nice parrot store that breeds their own, was handled everyday, spray bathed everyday and given playtime in a playground everyday. depending on how yours was raised I think may form her personality a bit.

 

don't worry about your new baby! i believe it will be a joy for you and your family and just coming here at all shows that you will be dedicated to the new little one.

Really, try and not worry so much, it'll be greyt. =)

[danmcq]

Parrots are possesive, demand attention, throw food everywhere, chew on anything they can get to, bite people including children that always want to stick their fingers in there faces or as I suspect stick their face upto a parrot which can bite at anytime whether they love you or not. Greys are more phobic than any other parrot, will pluck for many reasons including nervousness, in need of attention, strange toys or other items they are afraid of placed in the same room or close to them etc. These are the reasons many end up in rescues or neglected and placed in garages, basements or even outside and ignored sadly.

 

A parrot is not like a dog that will be happy to just lay around, get fed and not bother anyone. They a big responsibility, take a lot of care, attention and money.

 

Personally, I would not have a parrot with small children around 24/7, but thats just me. Others here do so and make it work.

[Birdnut]

Hi autte. Welcome. Here are my thoughts on your questions.

 

It's good that you're having these doubts and asking these questions now. A parrot, even the most well-trained and well-behaved parrot, is a very demanding companion. To care for them properly takes a lot of time and attention. They are messy, can be noisy, and will look to you to meet not only their physical needs, but their psychological and emotional needs as well. But with a parrot you can also experience one of the most intense bonds with a non-human companion that there is.

 

The kind of person who can joyfully enter into this bond will happily clean up the messes, enjoy researching and preparing special foods, toys, and other enrichments for their bird, and will view the noise as the life of their home. You just have to ask yourself it you're this kind of person. No judgment implied there; just that parrots aren't for everyone.

 

You must realize that your grey would become a b-i-g presence in your home. It can become a treasured family member, or it can be disruptive to the harmony of the home ... that really depends on you and your family, your attitudes, and the dynamics of your household. A calm, happy, well-adjusted household will tend to produce a calm, happy, and well-adjusted parrot. Parrots, especially greys, are very sensitive to their environment and to the emotions of the people around them.

 

Bringing this new bird home will be a bit like bringing home a new baby. There will be a period of adjustment while everyone works out new habits and routines to accommodate the presence of this new family member, and your baby parrot becomes adjusted to its new surroundings. Be prepared to experience a bit of stress during this adjustment and be ready with a sense of humor.

 

I would like to address some of the specific "horror stories" you mention.

 

In general, it is my impression, from what you write, that the conure did not so much cause problems in this household, but became a catalyst that amplified existing problems. Some of these horror stories sound a bit exaggerated, or they reflect a really chaotic household that is not a good home for a parrot.

 

Backseat hubby. A parrot will sometimes become possessive of the person they have chosen as their "favorite person." This can rarely become so extreme that the parrot will not allow other people near that person in their presence. They may consider their favorite person to be their mate, to be defended from any rival suitors. Your bird is not likely to be this extreme, but it's good to be aware of the potential issues. Being aware of this, you can take measures to control the situation and avoid most of the problems.

 

Some people can take this "favored" status to be a real ego trip. If this woman allows her husband to "take a back seat" to the bird, this was not a healthy relationship before the bird came along. (Just my sense of it.) It's important that all members of the family are on board when it comes to keeping a parrot. If the spouse is against it or resentful of it, you shouldn't acquire a parrot.

 

Sold the camper. It's true that you will have to consider the bird in making any travel plans. It's best that you not plan to be away for any extended period of time for the first year or so with your new grey. After that, what kind of arrangements you make will depend on how long you plan to be gone. Most birds will not "pluck all their feathers out" when left, if appropriate preparation and arrangements are made. But if your family is one that enjoys lots of travel for extended periods of time, then a parrot is not for you. (Although there are a lot of people who would have just taken that conure with them in that camper!)

 

Six stitches. Any hookbill can bite. Conures can be particularly nippy. Your grey will be capable of inflicting a pretty serious bite. But most parrots that are properly hand-raised and then handled regularly, with gentleness and respect, will seldom bite that hard. But there is a learning curve where it comes to handling parrots; for this reason, many people do not consider a grey as a good candidate for a first bird. We have not had our grey long, so other people can probably advise better on this.

 

As to the toilet flush at 4 a.m. I have a conure who will pipe up when she hears any movement around the house in the morning. My grey and lovebird will also start chirping and ringing their bells when they hear me get up in the morning. But parrots are generally pretty dormant during the dark hours of the night and will seldom do more than stir a little bit. Even my little conure alarm would not go off at 4 a.m. And she would not do it because she wants to be fed, since the birds have some food available to them at all times. But do realize that if you like to sleep in 'til noon, then any kind of bird may not be the best choice for you.

 

As to throwing food. Hey, parrots fling food around, whether they like the food or not. It's just one of the little joys of parrot keeping! If you require a spotless home, then a parrot is not for you.

 

Too loud for company. In general, conures are some of the noisiest parrots around. They become more noisy as their environment becomes more noisy. But we have 8 parrots, including 3 conures, and have no problem having company. Greys do not tend to be very noisy birds. They are good talkers, however, and some can put forth a constant stream of chatter at times. Some people find this a delight; some find it annoying. If you prefer a silent home, then a parrot is not for you.

 

To sum up: parrots are messy, noisy at times, demanding, challenging, and require you to adapt to their needs; but they will also make you laugh at their antics, amaze you with their intelligence, and look right into your soul like no other creature. How this equation works out for you depends on you.

 

Sorry to be so wordy. Just wanted to share my thoughts. It's important to have reasonable and realistic expectations when it comes to getting a grey. Best of luck in your new venture.

Edited August 3, 2010 by Birdnut

[JDS5607]

Welcome

 

Every bird is different. I have a lovebird that acts like the sweetest thing to me, and bites my husband. I have another lovie who loves my husband but will only come around me when I sitting on the floor. I have a sun conure that worships the ground I walk on, but will not come near me for the rest of the day if I don't say hello to her before I pick up another one of the birds. I have a nanday conure who was a terror til I gave him a piece of chicken and he's amazingly sweet now. Then I have my grey who doesn't care who's holding him or what's going on, as long as he's played with... all birds have their own thing going on. Try not to compare your friends conure to your new baby, because the odds that your bird will do each of those things is small. However, your bird will have it's specific, and probably quirky, needs... You have to figure them out, and go with the flow. Come up with a game plan that works for them- and your bird should be happy : ) The first thing my husband and I decided was that we were going to devote our lives to our babies. If that meant we would have to take short day trips instead of long vacations, that's what would have to happen... If it meant that we would sacrafice buying new furniture to buy a new cage or playstand, that's it. Just like your children, you sacrafice for your feathered babies, because you want them to have EVERYTHING... it's good that you're double thinking because that means you don't have the mindset of "oh, my bird will be perfect".. because no bird is BUT- they are worth every tempertantrum, every "lost" vacation, and every piece of corn kernel you step on in the middle of the night The love you get from a bird is like no other.

 

**On a conure note-- conures, in my mind, have the most attitude of most birds. My two have their days where they don't want to do ANYTHING, and then days where they just want to cuddle... so try not to tie your new bird too much to your friends conure : )

 

**Also, when it comes to vacations- I think you'll find yourself missing your baby more than you think you will. About 6 months ago, before we got our grey, My husband and I went on a 3 day vacation about 4 hours away, and left my babies with my parents who also have birds. Even though I new they were content and happy (I knew this because I called every 3 hours to check on them) I missed them so much, we left a night early just to get home to them!

 

Hope some of this relieves your anxieties. Just be willing to go with the flow, and you'll do fine! <3

[Luvparrots]

If I were in your place and was uncertain as to whether or not a parrot would fit into my household, I would wait. Greys live a long time and they do require attention. I live alone and my pets are my companions. My grey, Ana Grey, is very jealous of my other bird, Sully, a re-homed male eclectus, my canary, Cappy who also requires time out of his cage, and my 9 year old pug, the love of my life. Ana Grey is out of the cage almost all day and I have to be diligent in watching that she does not dive bomb my pug. If I am carrying around any of my other pets, Ana Grey will dive for their heads and attack them with her feet or beak. I also have to make sure that I have someone to house/pet sit for me if I want to go away for a day or more. So think about the commitment to your grey, it will be as important as one to your children and husband.

[judygram]

The others have given you some excellent advice so I won't say much more than to tell you not to pay attention to horror stories like the one you conveyed, they are usually exaggerated to some extent. I do have a conure and she is a very sweet bird but yes she can be nippy sometimes but her bites never draw blood.

You need to research fully to determine if a grey is a good fit for your home and your life and only you know if it does so if you think you can handle the mess, the attention and the noise then maybe you are ready.

[Elvenking]

Remember when your children were 2 years old? That is how an African Grey will be. Some may laugh but I think it is a close parallel. If you are stressed in your day-to-day life as it is having children around, it is probably not a good idea to jump into a relationship with a Grey. That's right...a relationship. I live alone most of the time with my grey, and let me tell you, that little guy puts me to work. He is the most rewarding pet I have ever had, but a ton of work. It sounds as if you already have your hands full, so take these comments you hear on this thread into careful consideration.

 

The story you heard sounds extraordinay. It sounds like the conure had some issues that are hard to nail down. Most birds don't go off the deep end like that unless they are teased and frightened a lot. But yes, birds do make noise. Greys are not the loudest birds in the world and are often quite pleasent to hear. But to the suprise of many, they will pick up the occasional unpleasent loud noise, and you cannot blame them..they are birds. They do not assimilate to human requirements for noise levels and behaviours. They will be birds, and they must be allowed to be birds. You cannot punish them like you do dogs or children. Behaviors can be molded but it can be difficult and take a ton of work.

 

Greys do not like a ton of running around from children. I have a 7 year old daughter who comes over sometimes and I have to make sure to keep reminding her to not flail about by the birds cage, stick things in the bars, or tease him. She has come around and understands why I need her to behave around my Grey, but it can be an effort to remind her sometimes. As others have mentioned, a Grey is a responsability not to be taken lightly at all. Even going in fully expecting all the requirements of owning a Grey, you'll still be suprised. Read the sticky (I think it is in the Grey Lounge) titled 'Ten Reasons Not To Own A Bird'. That is a start.

 

http://www.greyforums.net/forums/showthread.php?189315-Ten-Reasons-Not-to-Buy-a-Bird

 

We don't want to scare you off from owning a Grey, but these are the most rehomed birds of them all, and it all starts with underestimating the requirements of owning an African Grey.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Elvenking