Jealousy

[Christopher Tequila]

We adopted Zoe, a CAG, in June. She is 6 years old and has been in 5 homes already. After a few days she was already stepping up and letting my wife pet her. She is still afraid of me, we think because of abuse from a male in her past, but we are working on that patiently.

 

Last Saturday we started fostering a TAG named Sydney, who is somewhere between 35 and 40 and has had only one owner who passed away. She has indicated she wants to step up, but an attempt to let her step up onto my hand resulted in a fairly painful bite! She seemed very surprised and happy that we did not yell or get mad or anything. She also seems to want to get on my shoulder, which may have been how her old owner handled her, but we do not allow that with our birds.

 

This morning Sydney was whistling so much and even saying a few very quiet words, that Zoe could not get a whistle in! It seems that when Zoe started to whistle, Sydney decided to whistle even louder than her! I feed the birds and let them out of their cages in the morning and my wife comes down to say hi to Zoe and give her a few head scratches before she leaves for work. Today Zoe decided to give Maria a nice bite, something that she has not done before. She left her in her cage and tried right before she left and got another bite.

 

It's only days yet, so we are not freaking out completely, but my wife is afraid that Sydney being here is making Zoe jealous and biting out of frustration. We had an Umbrella Cockatoo living with us before Zoe arrived and who left after Zoe was here for a few weeks. She did not seem to care then but with another grey here we are concerned that Zoe may be resentful for her being here.

 

We just wondered if anyone has gone through this when bringing home another grey? We realize that both birds were probably the only bird in each of their homes and both have to get used to each other, but we hoped maybe someone here has some experience and can put our minds at ease.

 

Thanks,

Christopher, Maria, Zoe and Sydney

[Dave007]

Last Saturday? It's gonna take quite a while for each bird to get used to each other. It may even turn out that they won't like each other or will be a great pair or may not care one way or another. Greys are known to be one of the well known jealous birds in the parrot kingdom. Your new bird may be upsetting the apple cart right now but since it's only been since June that you've had the other one, it's possible that Zoe not only has to get used to you and the family but now another thing has been added. A bird who has been in 5 homes will need a long time to get used to things even though you may think she's totally settled in. A bird who's been rehomed a few times is leery about all new things that haven't happened in the past. Then you have personality--CAGs and TAGs have different personalities and it takes time for each one to get used to each other. Why she bit your wife, no one can be accurate with an answer but it would be best to let these birds get used to each other's presence. If you've established some type of a routine with Zoe, ie feeding, cleaning, giving treats etc continue that and make sure she's the first bird that you pay attention to. See how it goes. Zoe has her eye on the TAG and may not want interuptions or distractions from you and your wife. Let her come to you. At least you you'll know she's not coming overto bite you or your wife. It'll take time for each bird to settle in and find their place in your home.

[danmcq]

Dave as our resident expert gave great comments.

 

You certainly have your hands full with two mature greys, one being up to 40 years old. It is always encouraging to see people like you and your wife taking in and fostering greys in need like this. I cannot imagine what is going through Sydney's mind after losing her 40 year love and companion. She sounds like a shocked widow in grief and doubt of the future. Zoe's past sounds like a poor child going from foster home to foster home only to be treated badly once again. Fortunately Zoe made it to your loving home.

 

Being in your home for a week is a blink in time to Sydney. The poor girl is probably thinking this is just a temporary home while her life long love is on vacation. I must say, they both sound like sweethearts in state of confusion with a new flock, changing rapidly and the dynamics of now having two complicates it. Even a month in your home for Zoe is nothing. You have not began to see either of the "Real Grey" lying underneath that veil of uncertainty that exists presently.

 

Just slow and easy is the path with lots of observation, patience and love with these two sentient beings.

[rbpittman]

While neither of my greys are the ages of Zoe and Sydney, Dixie and Beau have learned to respect each other and it only took 9 months. Prior to that, Dixie would huff and puff and stretch and lunge if Beau was anywhere near her, her cage, her toy, her care giver or her Paul (my husband). To date, she's learned tolerance and patience and will gladly share me with Beau (I'm the care giver) without problem. In fact she will gladly sit on one shoulder while Beau is on the other. Now if Dixie is on Paul's shoulder/hand/anywhere near him and Beau comes over or one of the conures happens to fly by, Paul gets a bite. Hang in there!

 

Robin