Talk me out of it...

[ecodweeb]

This isn't what you're thinking. I'm not rehoming my birds. Oh, and I'm not dead ya'll.... I've just been.. crying a lot.

 

So as you know I'm single now and I lost one of my two birds in the "divorce," but out of the ashes comes a very happy looking Talula:

 

She's doing well, she's even letting me pet her some. In my recovery I've had those flings known as rebounds, and she was actually quite jealous of the chemistry I had with a few of them. So much so that she'd scream when one particular caller sat next to me on the sofa. She really does love me

 

We're spending more time together but I'm not forcing it. Rarely do I pick her up off the cage, if she wants me to she'll call me over but that is quite rare. She likes her perch and her cage, and that's OK I've accepted that.

 

I adopted, out of happenstance, a cockatiel named Luey (I know that's misspelled but that's how he came to me). He is 10 (Talula is 11), his previous owner has had him since he was 3. She has a nervous system illness that causes her to fall down and she could no longer care for the little guy. He now has Talula's old cage. He can fly and he camps out on the top perch on Talula's cage and she seems OK with this but she chases him off every now and again.

 

 

So what I need talking out of is adopting ANOTHER grey or medium to large parrot. I can't bring myself to get a new baby, but I for some reason just feel the need to get another bird.

 

I know it's because I'm in boyfriend withdrawl, and I know it's because I feel lonely. These are misguided reasons.

 

I also think that if I get another one I'll become the crazy parrot lady and no man would come anywhere near me.

 

Not only that but it took 6 or 7 cats to fill the void I left in my mom's nest and I hate to think I'm turning out like her.

 

Opinions?

Edited July 8, 2010 by ecodweeb

[Dave007]

***So what I need talking out of is adopting ANOTHER grey or medium to large parrot. I can't bring myself to get a new baby, but I for some reason just feel the need to get another bird. ****

 

That's not hard to do. You should devote all of your time to the remaining bird in order to get a better relationship and to pay attention to any small or large problems your grey might have including medical and lack of a close relationship. Getting another bird doesn't help anything. It just puts you into that mode of having to take care of 2 birds again and you really don't know how the relationship of the new bird and present bird will be. You can't go by what the previous relationship of your bird that went away and your bird that didn't. It may have been nice. Get another bird, problems may occur and you'll be stuck trying to cope with another prolem bird. Another bird won't fill the void as far as not having a boyfriend or getting a divorce. Right now, you can focus on the remaining bird.

****I also think that if I get another one I'll become the crazy parrot lady and no man would come anywhere near me.***

That's possible. Wanna take a chance?

[Loki'sMinion]

I say stay as you are and don't add another.... especially if you want your relationship with your current Grey to continue to grow and improve. But I know it is easier said than done at times. I think you need to focus on what you have now and not bring in more stress and worry for you or your current birds.

[danmcq]

I agree with the others. Spend all your time on Talula. YOu just started getting her attention and trust at deeper levels than ever before. Velieve me, one grey can take every minute of your time, if you allow them to.

[Luvparrots]

I live alone and I don't regret it one bit. I have my Ana Grey and she is jealous of other pets. To get over the "crazy bird lady" syndrome I have re-homed an older ecelctus who really needed a nice quiet place to live. He is a jewel. I also recent purchased a singing canary to feel my house with song. So I am limiting myself to needs not wants. It least that's what I tell myself!!!!

[quilter43]

I have 3 dogs, 1 cat, 2 finches and one African Grey. I am a single woman with no kids and my family thinks I'm crazy (they don't even know about the Grey, yet). But, they make me happy so there. Of course - I just saw a report on our local news about Animal Hoarders and I yelled "That's not me! That's not me!" I don't think so but, if I get one more animal - I might be a hoarder for sure!

[Janfromboone]

I think that during a time of emotional upheaval it is unwise to add more things to take care of. Of course that's exactly what I did when I bought Tobie. In talking to my mother-in-law about so many of my close relatives who are so depressed and suffering for one reason or another I made the comment "I get sad and depressed too, but when I get that way I buy a parrot". (talking about Tobie - He's my only one at the moment)

[judygram]

Chris I have to agree with the others, spend your time with Talula and build on that relationship and learn to deal with your disappointments for life is full of them and its how we deal with them that makes us strong. I know you are lonely right now but you never know what will be around the corner but remember things happen for a reason and you might not see it that way today but I think soon you will understand.

[Guest jamalbirdbiz]

If iz was single again becuz my wife past on. i wuld probably gets about ten more big biting birds to keep all the slop away.

[Azzie]

Eco, you have just been through major trauma, and have experienced many losses on many levels, and I think you need to spend time on rebuilding your new life. Rebuilding it solidly, not putting a patch on things by trying to plug the emptiness and loneliness you feel. These feelings are entirely normal, and it sure sounds like you realise that, from what you have said. Don't forget though, this too shall pass, these feelings will not remain forever. Be strong, be fair to yourself, be fair to your bird, face your problems head on, which I know you can do because you have already made it this far. When you have healed, you can re-examine wanting to get another bird, but for now I think the focus should be on you and your feathered friend.

(Excuse the psychobabble, 10 years as a mental health nurse lol).