undesirable noise causing strain!

[Girltron]

Ugh. Francis has been great the last couple of weeks, but I've got a major problem brewing. He makes one particular noise that my husband can't stand. It's a kind of high pitched squeak that might be an imitation of the sound his cage doors make when we unlatch them. We've oiled them so now they're silent, but he still makes the noise.

 

I've told my husband the best thing is to ignore him when he makes that noise, and praise/talk to him when he makes others. The thing is, since we've been trying to do that (several days) it's almost like the noise happens MORE, not LESS.

 

Last night we had a big fight about it because my husband actually sort of flips out when he hears it, and told me he dreads coming home because it's the first noise he hears in the morning and the last one he hears at night. He wouldn't even say goodbye to Francis this morning when he left for work. He wanted to call our friends and ask them to take him back first thing this morning. This is the same man who read two books on parrots and worked like mad to make his home ready for him on the first day. The man Francis absolutely adores.

 

I need to know how long it should normally take for Francis to understand and adjust his behavior. Is there anything more we can do to speed up the process? If I can tell my husband to wait it out for a specific length of time, that might help.

 

In addition, he makes pretty constant contact calls of all sorts, even when we're right in front of him. I've been starting to selectively not answer them because I think it's becoming a bid for attention, but I wonder if it's too confusing to train more than one behavior change at a time.

[judygram]

The honeymoon is over and now Francis is showing more of his personality which is not always desirable but it is part of living with a parrot. All birds make noise and greys are masters of mimicing sounds and the only way to deal with unwanted ones is to ignore it, no reaction to it at all because he will consider the drama of upsetting your husband as entertainment. This is where we separate the men from the boys to coin a phrase but you must not react in any way to the offending noise he is making and this will be difficult but with time it will lessen but do make sure you praise lavishly the noises he makes that you like.

When he makes contact calls answer him and tell him you are nearby, he is just reassuring himself that you haven't left him, remember he is new to your home, it takes a long time for him to fully unpack and feel comfortable but please do not give up on him, he has already been in a former home and the last thing he needs is to have to adjust to yet another one, give him more time and I think you will end up with a happier parrot and family.

[Girltron]

How can I be sure he's understanding us? I mean what if he just doesn't notice that it's THAT noise we don't like? I really just have to get him to do it much less often, we're not expecting him to totally stop. But the noise got more frequent since we started trying to ignore him when he does it. I wondered if that was the first part of his learning process, but a lot of other things have changed for him in the past two weeks too. There's no telling. Among other things, my husband has had to stop handling Francis almost completely, because of Francis' tendency to go into mating displays around him. That might have been enough to prompt an annoyance noise, right?

[judygram]

You have to understand that any kind of reaction to the annoying noise is drama for him, you need to just say and do nothing to the ones you want to lessen, just think about it, any kind of reaction whether it is vocal, physical or anything it is entertainment and cause for him to continue, just make no reaction at all. I know this is hard to do but it must be done if you want him to do it less and he will, he may not stop it completely but it will be less and less. Always encourage what you want to continue to hear him say.

You will continue to see changes in his personality as he unpacks and settles in but he is a bird and he is doing what birds do.

[Luvparrots]

What I do with Ana Grey is if she does something I don't like, I try to distract her with something else. If she makes a noise I don't like, I sing to her (believe me my singing stops her dead) a song I would like her to learn... You are my Sunshine. You could try a sound you would like to hear. Greys love to whistle so if she makes a sound you dislike whistle something you like at her. Perhaps she will try it.

[Jayd]

If I may say so, all the reply's have been correct, you couldn't get better advice, Janet's remedy and Judy's explanation are right on the money... Heed what these lady's say........Time..... Jayd P.S. There is no time limit, your baby is a wild animal, a older bird, some what confused and reaching out in the only way he can. Most of the times it's the new owner who has to make the most changes... There's no time limit ! Only love and patience...

Edited May 25, 2010 by Jayd

[Dave007]

Most of the undesirable noises you hear will eventually lessen. Many noises they make are extremely nice. They have a variety of noises. Different parrots have different noises and in those noises, there's some that are unnatural and annoying to a person. You probably can't stop a bird who's testing out his complete vocabulary of noises. The same applies to nice noises. You can't stop a bird who's testing out his complete vocabulary of nice noises. It eventually lessens but how long it takes is how quickly the bird tires of doing that noise. All greys are different.

Your most important thing here is relating to your husband about how in general, parrots are. There are exceptions in the parrot world. Cockatoos are naturally and extremely loud as well as macaws and conures and quakers.

There's things that re gonna come up that will not agree with your husband but you shouldn't have the fear that your husband will immediately think about getting rid of the bird.

[Jayd]

Amen.........................................................

[Joolesgreyuk]

Get rid of the husband...

[judygram]

Get rid of the husband...

 

Thats the best idea I have heard yet!

[Xtreme575]

Hahahahahaha! I love the way you ladies always dump on us guys, not that we don't dish it out ourselves, but I think we are a little out-numbered on here! In reality though, I do know of a couple who gave up their AG because the husband found it to be to destructive. Big regrets for the wife now, she is beside herself with grief, and resentful towards her husband. I too have told friends who looked at my new buddy with resentment to get over it, or get going, I made a lifestyle choice here, and they could either support me, or not, but the choice was theirs, 'cause I already made mine.

 

My point being, your husband has to have more patience than what he is demonstrating. I hate when Paco caws like a crow, but at the same time, I can't help but marvel at the fact that he can do it! I'm ignoring it none-the-less and really getting excited with other noises/sounds that he is making. The cawing is lessening already...

[Girltron]

Well, hopefully that will work. I'm not really amused by the "get rid of the husband" jokes though. Learning to live with a new animal is stressful and it's not his fault that a specific sound is like nails on a chalkboard to him. He doesn't deserve to dread coming home at night, so I'm asking a lot right now.

 

Yesterday I installed an Avian Sun light and we introduced Francis to his new sleep cage nice and early. With good sleep and good light, plus tons and tons of attention during our "parrot time" after work, I hope the noise will lessen. I've got two months basically to try to teach him to do it less. Believe me, too, I'll be keeping track of the number of times he does the noise each day. Last night he didn't do it at all while we were playing with him.

[Joolesgreyuk]

My "get rid of the husband" comment was made in jest - well at least partially. Forgive me but as others have touched on, you get a parrot and you expect it to behave like one. I feel your husband (although he obviously finds this particular noise irritating) has been less than patient and now you talk of timescales!

 

Anyway, I hope you "cure" the problem and everything turns out ok.

[Girltron]

I understand. There shouldn't be a problem reducing this noise in 2 months, I would think. If it doesn't get less in the next 2 months, my husband will definitely be asking our friends to take back Francis. This isn't something I'm going to likely be able to prevent. To put this into perspective, in past hour Francis has made this sound 64 times, and the morning's not over yet.

 

The only things we've been able to think of to do are making sure he's getting enough sleep, good light, plenty of attention and feedback when he's making good noises, and silence when he makes the bad noise.

[Joolesgreyuk]

Oh dear that is a lot of times, maybe you should've cured that cage squeak a while back lol. I guess the only things you can try are the things already suggested by yourself and others. They do seem to pick up those type of noises - such as sirens, smoke detectors, microwaves first. Beau does the smoke alarm quite often and that is LOUD and IRRITATING. I wouldn't have it any other way though, he is who he is. Maybe your hubby has acute hearing.

 

Maybe you could try recording it and putting it on here so we can hear just how bad it is, just a thought.

[Girltron]

Eh. Maybe. I'm having issues with my flip camera at the moment. It sounds just like someone dropping a penny into a tin cup, only louder. We're up to 81 times now. Wince. 82.

[danmcq]

If Francis is contact calling with that sound due to being in the cage and wants out or wants to see you. They will not stop, atleast not for a long time. They may reduce in frequency as Francis learns no one is responding, but probably not stop completely.

 

My opinion on this issue and the affect it is having on your family relationship. Is if the tension level is rising by the minute and it continues to escalate. I would strongly reccomend taking Francis back sooner, than later. The reason I say this, is because the longer she stays, the more attached to the environment and flock she will become. Right now, it's no more than a boarding experience and she's not sure if she will see her former flock come to the rescue or not for her.

 

I would hate to see what was perhaps a mistake in getting a Parrot, become the reason your human family relationship became jeopardized.

 

We all have made mistakes during our lives and took on things we truly were not prepared for, but thought we were.

 

It's ok to say "I think I made a bad judgement call", we all have.

[casper]

My greys will pick up on a sound, phrase etc and sometimes we can hear it non stop for days on end, then they may never use it again.

My rescue grey Tully had lived in an office enviroment for years, he has been with us 5 months now and we are getting to hear all the wonderful office noises which include a very loud trim phone which he must do 20 times an hour! Even my neighbours have started to reply to him lol.

All I can say is it could just be a phase, try not to have any tension between you about this as it will be picked up on by Francis and it sounds like she has settled really well, my Tully was very quiet when he came to us, Francis is obviously comfortable in her surroundings as she is vocal.

Im not so sure you can put a time scale on reducing the noise, ignoring may help but you may have to accept the noise might not go away.

I hope everything works out as Francis is a beautiful grey and you sound like great parronts x

[JillyBeanz]

Well, hopefully that will work. I'm not really amused by the "get rid of the husband" jokes though. Learning to live with a new animal is stressful and it's not his fault that a specific sound is like nails on a chalkboard to him. He doesn't deserve to dread coming home at night, so I'm asking a lot right now.

 

Bloody hell - don't have kids then!!!

 

Harvey makes a million "irritating" noises (as do my kids and husband) - but it's just something we have to live with!!! Harvey has made the "squeak" of the dining room door since he was introduced to my house (even though the squeak of the door was remedied within days of me discovering his new noise) - a year on though and he still makes it!! The others are bang on though - they are birds, they make noises - but there's one thing I don't think you've considered - you can't "domesticate" a parrot. You can domesticate a dog, cat, gerbil etc, so the timescale of two months you talk about are pie in the sky.

 

If such a slight problem is going to get your husband's BP rising though, I'd say I agree with Dan - let Francis go before the next irritating noise - because I guarantee that this isn't the last he'll have, and your husband will "dread" coming home to the next one. I must say though, for something so insignificant to rule his life, then camomile tea is a great invention

[Jayd]

I understand. There shouldn't be a problem reducing this noise in 2 months, I would think. If it doesn't get less in the next 2 months, my husband will definitely be asking our friends to take back Francis. This isn't something I'm going to likely be able to prevent. To put this into perspective, in past hour Francis has made this sound 64 times, and the morning's not over yet.

The only things we've been able to think of to do are making sure he's getting enough sleep, good light, plenty of attention and feedback when he's making good noises, and silence when he makes the bad noise.

Every one here has tried to offer you advice, the best they could, there's no book to tell you when something is going to happen with a parrot, nor with children! We have a rescue 'TOO, who hasn't been quiet for 19 years,[ because of 1st owner] We have to be with him at 7am each morning, 365 days a year, forever! because of noise, and the abuse some one caused him....Listen to these good people, it's against all I believe in, Do what Dan asked, please!!!!!!! Jayd

[Dave007]

Girltron

'Yes, from the beginning you've inquired about many things and people have been quite helpful in whatever ways they can. I told you they would. So understand that many times, people make light of things at times to set up a more relaxed atmospere. You're not the first person who has had this problem and you won't be the last. many times, the help that's given works and other times it doesn't. The jokes about the husband were just that-jokes.

I'll explain something else to you about pre owned parrots and the reason why people try to tell others to give things time with pre owned parrots. A pre owned parrot can go from house to house and not be given a chance to make a permanent relationship. It's the parrot that suffers. It's the parrot who changes when he's finally in a permanent home. Many people here have other types of parrots too. Most of them are from second and third homes.

Different species has specific traits and some of those traits are unchangable and many of those birds need to be with someone who will put up with it. I have a couple of quakers and they simply squawk, but not all day. That's the way quakers are. They're commiunicating with me and the other birds in their natural tongue.

So, I agree with others about possibly finding another home or returning it to the previous owner because other things will surface and they may be very annoying--or not, just like when he was overly affectionate with you. Some people will find that habit to be extremely nice. Others may not. He's trying to make a connection.

Edited May 26, 2010 by Dave007

[Girltron]

Don't forget that the next 2 months will be spent with Francis and me training my husband too...and there may not be a manual on parrots, but I could sure write one on him. Yes, this noise is a problem for him. No, I don't understand why he can't ignore it. No, I'm not sure it'll go away. But Francis is happy, and my husband likes him, and now that a good sleep schedule has been enacted they come into contact mostly during "parrot time", when Francis is more likely to want to shred paper and toss blocks than whistle anything. He goes through his repertoire after his dinner too, but not to the extent that he does in the morning.

 

So I think my husband will be fairly well conditioned to the sound in a couple of months now that we have a decent schedule worked out, but I do hope it lessens a demonstrable amount. The final total for an hour and a half this morning was 138 of those noises, though that was really only probably one in ten or more of the sounds he actually made during that time. He's got a big vocabulary of whistles.

[Elvenking]

One thing you can take heart in, and as others have said, is that they move on to other noises. I find that 95% of the noises Issac makes, I like a lot. But lately he has picked up some that I do not like. I do not tell him 'no' or to stop them. I merely do not acknowledge anything that he does that I do not like, and praise lavishly for the ones I do. They do recycle noises. I was just watching a video I made of Issac about 10 weeks back, and he is making noises there that I have long forgotton. Don't worry, just ignore the annoying noises consistanly.

[Dave007]

Let me make a suggestion----others have done this on this board in the past. Instead of just you relating thing to your husband, why don't you ask him to come to the board and ask specific questions or just to air out his problems and frustrations. He doesn't have to be a member. He can use your username. All he has to do is tell people who he is and I guarantee you that he'll be just as welcome here as you were and people will be helpful and friendly. No one here is intentionally nasty. If they were, there are people here that will quickly dump them. We don't allow that so think about. May may be able to make him feel better. There's men and women here so there's always the man's point of view and the woman's point of view.

[Girltron]

Thanks Dave, I appreciate it. He has very little patience with forums, even when it pertains to his work. It's enough if I get an idea of what works for others, and pass it along to him.