How to discourage sexual behavior?

[Girltron]

I started a longish thread in the "new" area about my newly adopted Grey, Francis. It came about that some of his actions are sexual in nature and should be discouraged, but I'm wondering if someone could give us some pointers to help make this easy.

 

We've known Francis a year. We've been actively giving him treats and holding him in or near his cage at my friend's house about 6 months. We brought him home with us 7 days ago.

 

Since he first got to know us, he has regurgitated like crazy whenever we even go near him. My friend who owned him told us this was a sign of affection so we never tried distracting him from it! He also used to shiver, squeak, droop his wings, and carry on for both of us but since we've brought him home and since we've both been handling him, he's been quiet around me and only done the "dance" when my husband is talking to him or holding him.

 

Neither of us have touched him in any of the off limits areas. We simply let him perch on hand or arm, maybe ruffle his neck feathers, and talk to him.

 

Last time he got this way, he became slightly possessive about my husband, giving me a warning nip when I offered "step up".

 

We're only beginning to handle him and we're in his second week at his new house so it's a good time to develop good habits. He honestly seems to care for both of us, but his tendency to be sexual around my husband needs to be redirected.

 

Any tips from veterans?

 

Oh. Also he hasn't actually been sexed yet so "he" might be "she" and I have a habit of using one or the other at a whim when writing about Francis/Frances. Just FYI.

[Jayd]

Your doing good, when she get's this way, say "Thank You, I Love You, and walk away", if she's doing this to your husband, you can come over to her and give her a treat as your husband walks away,[vice-versa], then ignore her for a minute or two.....Jayd

[Girltron]

OK, thanks. We thought we'd play "pass the parrot" a little tonight. Actually he's still quite fond of me, and tonight when I got home I opened up the cage and reached in just to let him give me a nibble and say hi, but he stepped right onto my hand and then wanted to cling to me instead of going back onto his perch! I'm nervous still that he'll fall, and also he kept regurgitating so I kept it short and showed him one of his new toys, which tempted him to step off my hand for a minute. I've left the cage open and I'd like to see if he'll come climbing out on his own.

 

The regurgitating is the part I can't quite figure out. I mean he does it constantly! More so if it's been awhile since he's seen either of us. How can we reward him for NOT doing it, if he's always doing it!?

 

One of his new toys is an interactive one, http://www.birdsafestore.com/Products/The-Teacher__FM213.aspx and I hope he's so interested in it that he forgets to stare at us and hiccup seeds at us.

[Dave007]

All of the sexual behavior he/she has now will continue throughout his/her's life. Discouraging it? You can curtail or shorten what your bird is doing but you can't discourage something which nature is telling your bird to do. Take your bird off of your knee or wherever your bird is. Put your bird on an area where it can't climb on you. Leave your bird alone for 1/2 hr. If you wanna hold your bird again, fine but be prepared to do the same thing if your bird does the same thing. Repeat as many times as necessary. If you 're gonna hold your bird again, put him on your knee and stop petting him when he's in a sexual mood. In that situation when all of this is happening with one person ( lets say the evening while watching TV) the other person shouldn't be involved. Your bird picked one of you to get amorous with and it should be that person that deals with it. When your bird decides to do this with your husband, you shouldn't be involved. When your bird decides to act this way with you, he shouldn't be involved. A part of socializing a bird is letting the bird build up parts of a relationship with each of the people that are involved. If your husband is the one who's having this problem more than you, he simply has to learn different ways to position the bird when he holds him or has him near him. There are places on the body where a bird won't be able to do that even if it wants to. Your husband may be simply petting the bird too much when the bird is with him/her . Greys don't require that type of attention all the time. When they get older, they're not known for being *cuddly* birds. When they're just relaxing with a person, they're quite comfortable so that's enough. Just being with a person gives them satisfaction. As a bird gets older those habits will lessen but never go away. If a parrot is in with another parrot and each is affectionate with each other, that'll amorous behavior is going on, it'll be the other parrot that stops the process when it gets played out. Many times biting each other is their solution. 7 days isn't enough time to judge all of the habits a bird will show towards new owners. Judgements can't be made because in the past, even though you've known the bird and had regular contact, remember that your friend was also there and your bird was not living in his new environment and I'm sure you weren't doing things to that bird at your friend's house which would sexually stimulate the bird. If this is your first grey, you'll need more time to learn more about his/her complex personality.

Edited May 19, 2010 by Dave007

[Jayd]

Thanks Dave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[judygram]

I think Dave has about said it all, Dave is one of our most knowledgeable members on the subject of greys, he has pet and breeder greys and many many years of experience with them, we are very appreciative of his help and advice.

[Girltron]

Well...this doesn't seem to apply too well. Francis has displayed ALL those symptoms for months, the squeaking and regurgitating, even when all we did was talk to him through the cage bars with no contact whatsoever. And like I said, aside from offering a finger to nibble or ruffling his neck feathers when he asks us to, we aren't doing any "petting" because Francis isn't familiar enough with us at this time. We do need to develop the ability to touch and manipulate at least to the point where we can inspect him for injury or administer medicine or whatever, but right now we're not trying to do anything other than just entertain him with out of cage time, talking, and toys.

[Dave007]

Well, I agree that you have a special problem and it's one that can't really be diagnosed correctly. In your second reply post, other things were spoken about which wasn't known in your original thread. Now, I could give you all the standard answers that may help but I'm gonna go with what I now know and also what I see which is in your avatar. Obviously, your bird is showing sexual behavior in that photo. I could tell you that at this time of the year most greys are very hormonal and act that way but now you say that this has been going on for months. I have a grey who does something slightly similar but only because I had to deal with him concerning a major physical problem which took a few years to cure so I had to constantly handle him in many different ways and he eventually became very attached but I will say that what he does isn't as strong as you describe with your bird. It's hard to tell a person what to do when they've only had a bird a very short time. Even people here who buy baby birds are told to let the bird get used to a new house--new people--new habits in the house--new surroundings before setting up a certain type of relationship. We tell people that there's no set time so they shouldn't put time limits on things. I still believe that 7 days isn't enough time to solve many existing problems but right now, you're doing many things which are good. Your main problem is that when you touch or have contact with your bird, he shows very affectionate somewhat sexual behavior.

I could say that I don't know the history of the bird nor the age nor the way the previous owner dealt with this situation but all of these things are past tense although you may wanna find out some of those things. I don't even know whether you actually know the bird is a male or female. Not insulting you, just telling you that concise info is better to have.

 

""""He also used to shiver, squeak, droop his wings, and carry on for both of us but since we've brought him home and since we've both been handling him, he's been quiet around me and only done the "dance" when my husband is talking to him or holding him.""""""

 

So I'm gonna assume that this behavior has lessened somewhat and what you may need to wait for is for the behavior to lessen even more--I'll say it again---7 days isn't enough time for a bird to make major changes especially when the bird is an adolescent or mature aged bird. Your bird may be carrying over behavior that he did in the past. That's called history or baggage. All preowned birds come with baggage and therefore need longer adjustment periods. That baggage could involve anything--serious aggression, being cage bound, unwilling to have physical contact with the new owner etc. You may think this is permanent but I don't think so but there again, that's just my opinion. You have a bird who is overly affectionate( temporarily hyper sexual) which is baggage. My opinion is to let this bird adjust in it's own good time. There's nothing that you've said that suggests that you'll have a problem in applying medicine or inspecting for injury. Many people use towels for that and it usually takes 2 people to do that which is normal. I could say that to me, there's no problem but then, I have a lot of experience with parrots so me telling you that really doesn't solve the way you feel. I would suggest putting a heavy duty cowbell in the cage so that he can get aggressive with it. Believe it or not, that bell becomes something he'll cuddle up with at night. I'll say that he needs some hard pieces of wood around so that he can chew it up and destroy it.

I'll end this up by saying one other thing although I don't agree with it . I don't agree with it because to me, there isn't a problem that exists but If this is very frustrating and bothersome to you and your husband, you can go to a vet and have the bird examined and it's possible that he can give him some medicine to calm him down. This procedure is done to females who are always laying eggs, who are agressive because of doing that and who are becoming weak from doing that. I'm only trying to give you options, facts and ideas.

[Spock]

Dave's right! He wouldn't tell you wrong......Be Happy, sit back and observe you new gift.........Maggie

[Girltron]

Oh thank you Dave, this was very helpful. Let me see if I can fill in some blanks:

 

Gender unknown at this time.

Yes, behavior has diminished slightly since coming home with us. I agree, it's early days yet.

Age is known to be over 10 years.

Previous owners did not handle or speak to Francis, due to his habit of biting everyone who came within range. I think they just didn't introduce themselves nicely, but...

 

Last night's play time was good. I opened the cage, locked up the cats and dog, and just let him do what he wanted while I cleaned the cage and made his dinner. Pretty soon he was sitting on the doorframe but it's too high for him to jump and there's no foot/beakholds for him to climb down. So later we spread a blanket out and put a puzzle for him on the floor, and lifted him down. I did more handling than my husband, and every time he started to squeak we handed him a puzzle piece and named the color for him. He would take each piece and chuck it, but it would distract him somewhat. He also started exploring out a bit from the immediate cage area. All in all, much diminished sexual type reactions.

 

Because of another problem (he's spooking and trying to fly suddenly) I'm no longer carrying him around the house with me during the day. That will probably come again once he knows the territory well and isn't so scared. We basically do about half hour to an hour of playtime each night, and now we're going to be concentrating on training him to think of this is non sexual terms. Games and learning.

 

He does a thing: constant contact calls, even when we're within visual distance, all day long. Luckily not at night. But we dutifully answer them, unless he uses a particular piercing squeak that we don't want to encourage. I assume this is a good habit to be in. I'm certainly getting better at whistling. I'm not sure why he wants to keep track of us so very much but I assume he's still nervous in a new house. His previous owners didn't really answer contact calls, though, so maybe he's just relieved that we know how to behave.

 

(Oh hey, won't a cowbell make us crazy?!)

 

Thanks again!

[Jayd]

If I may make a suggestion? Don't worry about training, and eduction, let the baby unpack and learn on it's own...... Love him, talk and play with out expectations...He may never be that "Super Grey", enjoy him, hold him, let him be his self until 'He's" ready to accept you training, expect a little less right now. Accept this young one the way he/she is....Love him, get him some good old junk toys, let him kick back!!!Jayd

[Dave007]

Well, there you go---you named off certain things are extremely important and that can make a parrot react or develop loads of different situations. Some good, some bad.---I said that a mature bird will take a longer amount of time to change and you said he was 10 yrs old----definitely mature.

 

First off, you have to understand that you're not doing anything wrong here. You're developing a relationship with a mature bird who hasn't had this. It takes time. Right now, the bird is experiencing what I would call opposits. Ignored in one placed---and just the opposite in another place.

 

""""Previous owners did not handle or speak to Francis, due to his habit of biting everyone who came within range."""""

 

Honestly, this simply pisses me off big time. A bird who has certain habits has to be dealt with. All types of problems have to be dealt with!. Listen, you know nothing about another one of my greys. He was aggressive BIG TIME and it took a long time to work with him. He attacked the previous husband, the wife and finally their new baby. He always drew blood. He was also an adult bird. Time and effort needs to be put in. If people ignore certain problems and just let the bird develop that way, problems are always gonna exist. Ignoring isn't curing. Want me to be perfectly honest--they shouldn't have had the bird. Gender isn't important at this time because your bird isn't having an over ctive problem with laying eggs when no male or other bird is around. A female that does that can possibly die. I've seen it happen with different species. I've dealt with different species and I can tell you for sure that your situation isn't a grey thing--it's a parrot thing.

constant contact calls, --that will lessen as soon as he/she is more used to the environment and you and your husband. It won't stop but will lessen. He/she wants companionship which he didn't get. Let me tell you something---keeping a bird caged all the time as he/she was causes BIG PROBLEMS of all kinds. Ask anyone here.

particular piercing squeak ---that'll lessen to as soon as he knows that you're definitely there. He probably did this in the past, was ignored so that habit got louder.

 

Cowbells----yes, they will make noise but are extremely good for parrots to have. They get very aggressive with the bell ( mock fights) and eventually become very affectionate with the same bell. The next day the process will start again but as time goes on the fighting with the bell lessens and it becomes a part of the bird's new home (cage). Normally, in the future the bird won't let you take that bell out. The bell is a friend.

 

Flying-----I look at your avator and from what I can see, the length and shortness of the cut would allow your bird to fly about 5 to 7 ft before landing on the floor. That cut won't allow any altitude at all so this is a suggestion in case you're worried about injury.

 

Try to pick up a cheap 5 or 6 ft square or retangular area rug and surround the cage and playstand with it. ----your bird will fly downward, and land on the rug. That distance will increase as his wings get longer. Some of here aren't fond of wing clipping but right now, you shouldn't worry about that at all. You need to deal with the present situation.

 

Listen, I'm not trying to scare you but you need to understand that in my eyes, there isn't a problem. I just feel that time will lessen your problems. Also understand that there's people here who wish their bird was as affectionate. All of this is gonna take patience and he'll probably come around to your husband Relationships with 2 people in a house aren't always the same. A bird will like one person for certain things and the other person for other things. Just remember that there's a whole bunch of people here who can help and won't ignore what you need to know.

Edited May 19, 2010 by Dave007

[Girltron]

This is great! As far as his wings, he's not clipped at all. He's done himself some damage and his wings are uneven, so he goes thump! when he tries to fly at all. Very distressing.

 

Heh, i guess we'll be getting used to a cowbell.

 

As far as his previous owners, I do care about them quite a bit but I must say I agree with your assessment. Their other bird, something they call a "ringneck" which is quite pretty actually, is mean and has a screaming problem.