Change in Behavior

[fazio93]

I have an 18 year old Grey named Shadow. He's lived with us all his life. About three years ago we moved and he adjusted well. I actually became closer to him after the move. He let me pick him up out if his cage, when i pet him he would close his eyes, he even started regurgitating a couple times.

 

My parents got a divorce a few months ago and I moved into an apartment with my sister and mom. At first (for about a week) he seemed normal and looked like he adjusted with no problem. However, his attitude began changing. Now it's almost like he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Whenever he's in his cage and my sister or I walk by he will fling his water. When I uncover him from his sleeping cage in the morning he immediately starts lunging at me through the cage. I can't pick him up at all (out of his cage, while he's on his cage, etc.). When I say "Up" (as we have always said) and I put my finger out he will put his head down expressing he does not want to go up. He almost never cooperates even if he's been in the cage all day I come home from school to take him out he doesn't want to be picked up. (He will come out of the cage by himself if you leave the door open). He only lets me pick him up when he flies off his cage when he gets startled or in the morning when I show him food in his bowl and put it in his daytime cage (he will then let me pick him up from his sleeping cage).

 

However, my mom is the closest to Shadow he always regurgitates to her and he doesn't hesitate to come up (most of the time). (Also worth noting is that he always seems nervous when he's picked up, even when my mom holds him). It might also have to do with the new cage we got him when we moved into the apartment, however he seems perfectly calm and comfortable on it now (it took him a couple weeks to get familiar with).

 

Now, my mom thinks that maybe he is acting like he is toward me because:

 

He has always been scared of my dad (when he would walk past him he would have to be on the highest perch all fluffed up, etc.) and because of this, he never wanted to express himself to my mom as much but now that my dad is not living in the apartment, she thinks maybe now he is opening up to her more and shutting out everyone else (in other words, me!)

 

I know there could be many factors resulting in this but I just want to be able to connect with him like I used to before and for him to interact with me like he does with my mom (and like he used to do with me). Does he have to be retrained or something? I just don't know.

 

Thanks,

Nick

[Greywings]

So many factors in play here. The stress of the divorce, a new apartment, a new cage and a new family structure, perhaps even a different schedule. It does take Greys longer to feel safe and make adjustment to new places longer than any of the other species I am familiar with. Patience is the key here-move slowly talk softly, stop and greet him as you pass by occasionally giving him a small treat. No pressure to step up just let him readjust that mental space to include you as flock again. If he harbored a fear or dislike of your Dad he may have transferred that to you as the male in the household and it will take time and consistent interactions to convince him you are safe and associate you with good things only.

[danmcq]

Greywings is right.

 

Many changes have taken place that affect your Grey directly.

 

Only time, patience, lots of love and happy attitudes when approaching him will make him slowly to start feeling decure once agan in the new surroundings.

 

It's sounds like you have a good handle on what you need to do and how to read your Greys body language after having been raised with him yourself, I suspect.

 

I look forward to updates on this.

[Luvparrots]

Hi Nick, glad you decided to join the forum. I commend you for trying to make Shadow's life so much more for him. You seem to have done a lot of research and put a lot of thought into caring for and helping make Shadow's life comfortable for him. I agree that time and patience and lots of love are what will bring Shadow around. Be patient and hopefully things will settle down for Shadow and he will be more susceptible to your friendship. I look forward to hearing more about Shadow's and your progress. Welcome to the Grey family!

[fazio93]

ok, thanks for the advice.