expectations--please

[tonyphishcutr]

OK seriously folks. I'm getting very mixed messages from the pet place, books, etc. and i NEED some help PLEASE...

 

the 6 year old, i'm it's third owner, meyers has now been in my home

10 days.

He prefers to have nothing to do with me. Any "forced" no matter how mild interaction with me brings only flight and frantic get-away behaviors. Stepping up is out of the question. He treats women very differently than me--his last owner was female. He brightens up, acts interested, and approaches them, although he will not step up for any of them so far. Bascially the exact opposite of what he does with me.

 

I try to stick to routine. Wake up, change his water, check pellets/seeds and fill his cup with fresh veggies of the day--usually broccoli, corn on the cob, carrots, green beans, sweet potatoe. I do a little chit/chat and head to work. I've been coming home for lunch specifically to be with him. At noon I change his water and mess with his veggies/food just to reinforce that i am the source. I have moved my desk/chair to be right in front of is cage door which i have open all the time i'm at my desk--which is while i eat, work, watch televsion, etc. I often sit in my chair with my arm resting in various places inside his cage not moving it for long periods of time.

I try to play blinking games, peek-a-boo, etc. all the passive/safe/distance interactions i can think of or have read about.

 

The only time he comes out of his cage is if i make a move, no matter how gentle, toward him. Once out he flees. I let him be but no matter where he lands he is intent on getting back to his cage. He will sometimes sit on top of the cage, constantly wary of my location.

If i move toward the cage to talk, offer food, etc. he will sometimes, but only sometimes let me lean against the cage (still a couple feet away), at all other times he climbs behind the cage as far from me as he can get or flies off.

 

After work i eat my dinner in front of his cage with his door open offering him anything he might be interested in. He will only occasionally take some food from my hand but rare. In the evenings I change his food/water/litter and offer him fruit from me which most of the time he does not take. It is in the evenings when i very much encourage him to come out of his cage--feeling like he has to get at least some excerise, even if it is only running away.

 

I've heard from one bird person that he will basically "never" be really happy with a man after making his other attachments to women.

And i get all sorts of mixed instructions on the need to insist that he let me hold/towel him...I have to do it now, i have to do it for this many minutes, no don't do it at all until he is willing to initiate it, etc.,etc.

 

If this is all "normal" behavior to adopting an older bird then that's fine and I can be very very content--really. However, if all I am doing is somehow prolonging his very evident unhappiness then that just seems cruel and the last thing i want to do. I never see him play. He preens and eats, drinks, poops, etc. He just seems miserable and i'm heartbroken ____UNLESS___ this is normal behavior for an adoptee and i can reasonably expect him to adjust and, within an identifiable amount of time, be happy.

 

The parakeet in the house readily sits on my shoulders and rides everywhere with me which i encourage with much show and demonstration so the meyer's can see how safe and fun and desirable i am--well to avian species anyway.

 

I've been graced to live with happy birds before and this meyer's ain't happy. If it's a normal part of mourning/adjustments i can very readily accept that with belief that after a time he will be happy.

But if this is all there is in life for him as some knowledgable people have suggested, then it's time to find him better than i can offer.

 

Thanks everyone.

Don't want my ignorance to be his punishment.

[Guest javacrypto]

That is very very normal. Meyer's parrots can have an especially difficult time adapting to new people once they are adults, especially if they have spent time in less than ideal situations. There are those that say adult males can't be retamed, I don't believe this but I also know that it isn't an easy task.

 

First of all, 10 days is nothing . Maybe after 10 WEEKS he will let you approach without panic...or maybe after 10 months. But 10 days for an adult male meyer's with (obviously) issues to deal with is nothing.

 

I'm glad for your "If this is all 'normal' behavior to adopting an older bird then that's fine and I can be very very content--really" comment. I will tell you that you may never see him play, if he never learned how, or if he feels too insecure (which I guarantee he does at this point), or...?

I'm sure your assessment of your Meyer's as an "unhappy" bird is accurate.

But he isn't going to be "happy" in 10 days. With lots of patience, routine, calm and gentle and quiet communication with him, NEVER forcing anything on him (he'll never be secure if he has to fight you), giving him his space, etc...he may start to feel safe eventually. And then maybe he will feel secure...and some time after that, content...and way in the future, if all goes well, he may be "happy".

 

I really love your attitude and your willingness to just let him be and give him time. I do believe that, unless he's been terribly abused, he can learn to be happy again eventually but not if he's continually rehomed. You sound like someone who has the understanding and patience to reach him at some point and I hope you can stick with this little guy.

 

(I just want to add that my Meyer's is my favorite little sweetheart out of my 14 parrots. I'm his 5th owner, and he's my very special little buddy!)

[Guest javacrypto]

My Meyer's parrot is 5½, I got him when he was a year old. My red-bellied (closely related) parrot is 2 and I'm his 3rd owner. I have other birds that also have been through multiple homes.

 

I like your attitude, and hope that you will keep us updated on your senegal's progress!

[tonyphishcutr]

"Owly"

 

thank you thank you thank you.

 

normative date almost always calms my anxieties. a bit grim for him perhaps. plus i keep telling myself that it is probably a myth that some better home would quickly appear in which he would immediately be happy.

 

OK. if i can be fine so can he. maybe to deal with the excercise i'll try to add some interesting stuff to climb, a gnarly piece of grape vine

 

most enjoyed that you are the 5th owner of a myers although i did not catch his age.