My Grey is fab with me but not with my partner?

[GOOSIE]

Our Grey Montie is very tame, he is fine with me, i can do anything with him, but when my partner goes near him and wants to to the same things as i do with him he just wont let her, he just goes to bite her, he will fly to her and land on her head but then he starts to pull her her hair out, when we 1st got Montie he was fine with her but its a nightmare now with them both, i try and tell my partner not to be scared of him but she feels as if the trust between them has been damaged and doesn't know what to do about it. We don't realy understand why he behaves this way towards her but have thought at times it may be jealously? As appears to display this sort of behaviour more so when i am around.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Or got any tips?

 

Thanks

 

GOOSIE

[judygram]

How old is Montie, and how long have you had him? Has anything changed in the household lately? I need a little more information before I try to help you if you don't mind.

[GOOSIE]

Thanks for your fast reply Judygram, we have had montie around 10 month he is 1st birthday is next month, nothing as changed in our house recently, i must admit if i am in the house montie will be out of his cage playing and doing his own thing, Pauline my partner doesnt really let him out if im not in the house, I am encuraging her to let him out though and spend more time with him.

Montie is in perfect health, i just cant get my head round the situation.

Thanks for taking the time to help me, i take it you will need more from me to help, please fire some questions at me and ill be happy to tell you if we have been doing things the right way or not.

 

Once Again Thank you!

[judygram]

I am assuming she is a little scared of Montie, and if she is, Montie is picking up on that, they can read our emotions and act accordingly. Does she show hesitation on trying to come close to Montie, and if she tries to pick him up and he goes to bite her does she pull back? If she does he knows she is afraid and he knows he is in control, all he has to do is bite her and she goes away, he's running the show, so to speak.

 

She may need to back off for a while and try to work on not hesitating to follow thru when she goes to pick him up. When she does try to pick him up, she shouldn't pull back and if the bite comes then push into it, I know it will hurt but it may be the only way to get him to stop it. When he finds out that the bite is not going to make her go away he may stop biting her.

[danmcq]

Hi Goosie and Welcome.

 

Has your Partner also been in the picture since you brought Montie home?

 

If so, was Montie playful and friendly to both of you at that time. If he was, when did the situation change and can you link it to anything out of the ordinary taking place?

 

Is it safe for Pauline to let him out while your gone? If so, that might be a beginning to trust between them.

 

Post photo's when you get a chance...We love photo's :laugh:

[GOOSIE]

Thanks Guru, I think you are absolutly right, ill get Pauline to do all the things you have put to me, your a star, ill let you know how they get on.

 

Thank You

 

GOOSIE

[GOOSIE]

Thanks Dan, good question but yeah me and pauline went and bought him together, Guru as give me some good tips for pauline to try, i think he is right as everything he asking is right, she does pull away and is scared of getting bitten, ill get her to try harder. but if you have any other ideas we will be most greatfull.

 

Thanks Again

 

GOOSIE

 

[judygram]

If you are going to have a grey, you have to be prepared to take a bite, so to speak. They like to assert their independence and they can do that by biting and if you show fear by pulling away, they win. Just be nice but firm and go for it, and I bet the biting will stop. Greys are highly intelligent creatures so don't underestimate them.

[Guest briansmum]

i have a similar thing with my grey and my boyfriend, i have been encouraging him to do the fun things with brian (the bird) offer treats and let him out etc. i have also told steve (the man) to sit on the sofa at the side of brians cage with his hand near the bars. at first brian will come and try and bite him, but after a while he gets used to steves hand being there. hopefully in time we can progress this to steve having his hand near the bird without the cage bars there

[Guest Monique]

Goosie -- All the advice you have to try here is great. Also, be aware that Greys do frequently bond with one person. It is natural for them in the wild to have a monogomous relationship with one partner and likewise they tend to bond tightly to a human in captivity. It is very likely that your Grey is displaying jealousy when being more aggressive with your partner during your presence. You should also be aware that if this is the reason for your Grey's aggressiveness do not be surprised if he takes a stance that he is more upset with YOU when she is present as well. Be very careful of having him on your shoulder at this point. Not sure if you do but if you do he's displaying behavior, in my opinion, that means he may be a little less predictable than usual. If it works out for your partner handling him - great!! If not, you can definitely teach him to BEHAVE and stay on that stand (no flying anywhere without permission!!) and she can also interact with Goosie verbally which he will most likely enjoy -- even if he doesn't want anything to do with the other stuff. Please let us know how you come out!!!

[newgrey]

Hi, my partner and I just brought home a grey four days ago and s/he is increasingly aggressive towards me and very sweet with Tom. If s/he is between us on the back of the couch s/he will take treats from me, but then sporadically lunge at and try to bite me as well. S/he's gotten a couple good hard punctures in and I'm having a hard time continuing to stay positive. Since your post was in August, I was hoping for a positive update/reply on your progress.

[Nychsa]

Hi there Goosie,

I have a similiar situation going on here. Bella, my grey growls at my partner all the time. He's only here every other week, and we thought it was that, but then she was fine with my daughter and her husband and they are here maybe every other month.

 

We've been able to narrow the growling down to a couple of things - first my partner is very "concerned" about Bella's beak and is tenuous, and jiddery when giving her a treat. Bella can tell when he's unsure of himself and she leverages that like a champ! I think she enjoys power trip she gets from it :laugh:

 

The next thing we've figured out is that he does not project a very calm energy. He is usually hyper, very animated, talks with his hands a lot, and that agitates Bella.

 

We have made head way though - actually through my conure Jigme. Jiggy, also known around here as "Alexander", LOVES playing with my partner - they have this game going every evening where they play tug of war with a pillow or a piece of paper. It can go on for quite some time with Jiggy doing a good deal of acrobatics and fun noises. At first Bella growled at my partner if she felt he was being too rough with Jiggy, but after watching this now for a while she's accepted it (but she still makes sure Jiggy is safe LOL!). Then he plays with my greyhounds, and my male, Doc is Bella's favorite (she flies to him for refuge if she feels a need for protection). When my partner pats Doc on the ribs and it makes that patting sound, Bella growls at my partner as though she's saying "keep your hands off him!". But, since Doc shows great affection towards my partner, Bella has adjusted to it, and accepts it.

 

So, it looks like they're working towards a truce - he gives her treats, and sits next to her cage - and she's ok with it - and she's ok sitting on the couch with him. And they're both ok not touching each other lOL!

 

It's taking patience and work, but we're working it!

 

So - my advice - leverage things your grey cares about and bring your partner in on it :cheer:

 

Cheers!

Terri

[Jane08]

We had the same thing when we first got our bird. He loved me and didn't like my boyfriend and would bite him. We decided to let my boyfriend do everything for him. So he would feed him, clean the cage etc. I backed off and would just be there and would not even give him head scratches or food.

 

It is much better now and they have bonded in their own way. My boyfriend is the main person who feeds him and they are able to bond after this. The bird will sit on his shoulder and they cuddle. They also play games together which also helps them to bond.

 

We still have times where my boyfirend can not touch him and this is particularly when the bird is with me. We just know these times and my boyfirend knows when to avoid touching the bird.

 

I think the bird sees my boyfriend as its mother and I am the birds wife, hehe

[judygram]

Thanks Jane for sharing this with us, they do have a different relationship with each member of the household and I think you have hit on the perfect compromise, now the both of you can handle him and this works for you and it can work for others.