How to cope with change?

[mareeee]

Hi everyone!

 

For those of you who don't know, my husband and I brought Charlie, our TAG back from Africa recently. He just got out of quarantine last week and he's doing great, but is having a little anxiety with all the changes he's been through. First of all, he is being very needy. I definitely understand the behavior, only I think I might be doing more harm than good. I've been spoiling him and spending most of my time with him. Even if he was just sitting quietly on his cage minding his own business, when I leave the room without him, He squawks and tells me to pick him up ("come here! up! up!") as he shuffles back and forth on his cage and is ready to fly. (He won't fly 95% of the time though because he has problems with his flight feathers on his right wing)

 

Charlie has gone through a bit of regression as well since we were evacuated from Guinea. Before we left, he was talking a lot. After we left, we spent 3 weeks in a training facility in a neighboring country and 6 weeks traveling (while we waited for his import permits). During this time, he stopped talking almost all together and again was pretty needy. Now that he's back with us from a month in quarantine and hasn't been on the move for once, his vocab is coming back a little bit (he even said 'go potty' today for the first time since September!) but he's far from his pre-evacuation chatty self.

 

So my questions for all of you:

 

-(I think) I understand his behavior. It was a pretty traumatic experience for a little bird and he needs a little stability now and something to trust in. We're trying to stick to a routine to give him reassurance that the trouble is over, but its hard to do since we're in the middle of job searching/interviewing/no reliable schedule. I just want to know: Do you have any advice on helping him cope with these changes to make the transition smoother and quicker for both of us?

 

-I'm a little worried about spoiling him too much now and then finding a job and leaving him home alone soon. Any advice on easing his anxiety without encouraging his needy/clingy behavior? He has been AMAZING meeting so many new people and accepting change and his new home, but he has become more of 'my' bird, choosing me over my husband. He used to have no distinction (except on an off day where he was being a punk and only liked one or the other of us for some featherbrained reason..) My husband did start working though last week, leaving me home alone with Charlie during the day, giving us much more bonding time. Now I'm just worried what he'll do once I start working too. Has anyone had any birdy trouble while transitioning from being home a lot to being gone a lot or through other big changes?

 

I've read through some past posts on needy birds, but would love to hear any advice or experiences you might have!

 

Thanks,

Mary

[danmcq]

Hi Mary,

 

You wrote: "Do you have any advice on helping him cope with these changes to make the transition smoother and quicker for both of us?"

 

Yes, please do not worry about spoiling him. He is very apprehensive, nervous and unsure of many things right now.

 

The best thing you can do is reassure him constantly, let him ride on you shoulder (If he is a shoulder bird) where ever you go so he does not think he is being abandoned or separated from his flock. He fears this because he was separated from his flock and it "Rocked" his world of security with the flock.

 

When any Grey is afraid and nervous, they will not speak or even whistle at all in most cases. It is a natural instinct to be quite when in doubt of their safety.

 

Just speak to him soothingly at all times, remain very calm and be happy to take him with you at all times when you can.

 

I'm positive others will chime in with many more good comments as well. :-)<br><br>Post edited by: danmcq, at: 2010/01/18 14:56

[Dave007]

Also, don't worry about how he is now. The best thing you can do is spoil him. Bird quarantine is not a good experience and afterward many birds don't try to reconnect with owners. Yours did. Expect him to act differently. He'll calm down after he senses permanent stability at home. Going from one country to another is unusual and straining for any bird. Top that off with quarantine and it makes for a nervous bird.

 

Follow Dan's directions. You should have no problems. He may show a little difficulty because you're searching for jobs but as long as he's in his new home permanently, he'll adjust.

[mareeee]

Hey guys - I appreciate the advice. I was just afraid I was going to end up doing more harm than good by spoiling him now when I know that I won't be able to spend this much time with him in the future.

 

He's been getting plenty of shoulder time: helping me with laundry and cleaning, eating lunch with me at the table (he really likes meatloaf?!), even sitting on the shower rod in the bathroom while I'm getting ready in the morning.

 

I'll just keep on spoiling him for now and deal with the transition of going back to work when that comes. Who knows how long it'll take to find a job anyway right now...

 

But thanks again for your answers. It makes me feel better.

[Luvparrots]

As Dan and Dave have said, enjoy Charlie. Reassurance that he is now home and safe with his parronts is what he needs now. When you go out on your job searching and return, Charlie will know that you are returning and get use to this, as he probably was use to before. Relax and just enjoy having Charlie home!!! If you have any pictures of Charlie, we would love to see them, Mary!!!