Don't take us Xmas shopping!!!

[danmcq]

MEN SHOPPING....

 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like

most women she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

 

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

 

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband,

Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from

her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

 

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

 

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'by using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

AGAIN!'

 

And last, but certainly not least:

 

15.October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!!!'

 

You Ladies have been warned!!!! - Dan

[judygram]

{Feel-good-0002006E}

 

 

I read that somewhere else Dan but it is so funny, thanks for giving me a laugh today, luv ya man.:kiss:

[Eckobird]

:woohoo: HAHAHAHA that is hilarious!!

[Luvparrots]

I love it Dan!!!! You are insane!!!:blink: :woohoo:

[JillyBeanz]

Brilliant Dan - thanks for the heads up - next time you're in the UK - no shopping trips

[Supernova]

Dan next time let the wife do it all.

 

By the way, wot the hell is a layaway ??????

 

[pearllyn]

Hehe! Funny Dan, thanks for sharing.

[danmcq]

Supernova wrote:

By the way, wot the hell is a layaway ??????

 

Layaway is a program large stores like sears and Penney's used to offer many years ago. The program is for people that do not have the money to pay for something. So the "Lay it away" for you. You then go in and make payments as you have the money. Once you have it paid off, they give it to you.

 

It has just recently been resurrected due to the economy being trashed here and millions of people with very low amounts of extra cash and-or no credit cards with available cash left on them.

[kittykittykitty]

Way past Xmas shopping (unless you've srted 11 mo early) but this is funny!!! Loved it.