ThaThaMo Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Hello All, My name is Abe (short for Abraham), and I am taking care of my dad's African Grey named Thathamo (Malayalam[and indian language] meaning mother bird). She is a female obviously from her name. She came into our lives when my dad was first diagnosed with cancer and she and him were the best of friends for such a long time. She listened to him in terms of going in and out of the cage, sitting and just hanging out, and just overall playful with him. She used to climb all over him and just hang off his hand, even play with his hair I got her after my dad passed away 2 years ago. She was extremely sad, aggressive and stopped socializing when he passed away (while still living in the same cage, same house, same location). I spent the last 2 years buying toys and sitting and talking and all sorts of things to get her to like me. Now she seems to be okay with me entering her cage to clean up etc. She doesn't really bite me. Once in a while she gets a bit testy and gives me a slight pinch when i try to get her into the cage. I think she understands no bite because the 2 times she did bite me i scolded her and gave her a time out. Also because now if she wants to come out she says " no bite, good girl". she is multilingual, and knows all sorts of words etc. she is about 12 yrs old. I am here because i really want to try to get her to be my buddy so i can get let her out and have some freedom without worrying about her flipping out on me or not being able to get her in her cage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 She should have had enough time to grieve and recover by now. Greys can be a challenge when it comes to gaining their trust. I would avoid the scolding from now on. You sitting and talking to her is a good start. Can you tell me a bit about her cage and how you have it located? Is it near a window? I would not giver her the treats unless she comes toward you first. Reward small increments of progress and keep it short and very positive. Lots of good girl, great job type talk. That is a star and if you can find some of the articles by Barbra Heidenrich they will give you some great tips and ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JillyBeanz Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Hi Abe and welcome to our family. You will find lots of interesting information and suggestions by other members who have "rescue" birds and "adopted" birds. It's great that you feel you can take on this bird, and in many ways it is a link with your father. It's great that you are feeling confident enough - little steps are definitely the way ahead. We like photos - so if you have any please post them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pearllyn Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Hi Abe, Welcome to the Forum. Sorry to hear of your loss - grey's can be as sensitive as us in these types of circumstances. It sounds as if Thathamo was very close with your Dad. Being patient with her is a must, and perhaps as Greywings has said, be careful wit the scolding. Before she bonds with you, she may resent you for scolding! Just be sure to continue to reward the behaviour you want, and ignore the behaviour you don't want. Does she have a favourite treat? Short training sessions maybe two or three times a day give the best results - that way your bird won't get bored and lose interest in what you are teaching her. Good luck with her and keep us informed of your progress. Well done too for taking on an older bird - it's not an easy task - but a very rewarding one. Lyn & Alfie. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Welcome to the forum!! You say she asks to come out and states "No Bite". Once she is out of the cage. How does she interact with you? The reason I ask, is she may just be "Cage Aggressive". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Hi Abe, Thathamo sounds like she has a mind of her own and really loved your Dad. There is a lot of information here so read though the many posts and ask all the questions you have. We would love to see some pictures of Thathamo if you have any to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted December 16, 2009 Author Share Posted December 16, 2009 well she wants to come out of the cage clearly. I mean anyone would i think. When she comes out she keeps wants to to regurgitate. I know its a sign of affection, but she wont even want to step up or anything, just regurg. she wont even take treats when she is out of hte cage and regurging. At first i thought it was just a little but then she wants to do it and she makes that weird osund which lets me kow shes happy. I dont know how to explain it. Questions: 1. When she regurgitates, what should be my response? 2. where do you guys keep buying toys, I want to find a cheaper alternative to the local pet store which is pretty costly for toys. 3. Advice on how to transfer her to a new cage from her old one without her getting all bent out of shape. 4. trimming nails, How do I go about it? should I just take her to the bird store? Will she hate me for taking her to get her nail trimmed. I only want to do this cause it hurts when she grips hard on my hand. Pic Below: I didn't realize there as an old pic of my mom & dad in the shot until i was trimming it down to 500 x500 pixels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted December 16, 2009 Author Share Posted December 16, 2009 Also one last thing, can she get dry skin because of the heating during cold month?. Were in NY and I feel like she gets dry skin since the heater is being used for winter. Any solution to it? Anything I can get her to make her molting a little less stressful for her. Anything that can moisturize her skin? I am clueless to what is available for her. Another thing I wanted to ask is, sometimes when she is all lovey dovey and is regurging (not while doing the following but in the same timeframe), and is perching on my hand (tumb or fingers etc) she like snuggles into my hand and almost feels like she is rubbing her belly area on my hand. She snuggles down to a point her wings are surrounding my hand, her tail is down and rubbing aganist my hand etc. like she is almost cupping my hand with her body. What the heck is she doing or trying to tell me? <br><br>Post edited by: ThaThaMo, at: 2009/12/16 15:46 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted December 16, 2009 Author Share Posted December 16, 2009 Last.. well probably not.. but sorta last questions for this set of posts.. I really love her cause she still talks to me in my dads voice and calls me same way my dad used to call me in my language. she addresses me in the same manner as he would. and when she gets all cute and stuff like this i just wanna smother her with love and kiss her on her head. BUT obviously restrain my ridiculous amount of affection because i don't want her to bite my nose,ear or any other facial parts off.. what can i do to get her comfortable enough to a point where i dont have to worry about her tearing my face off. Granted I dont know what her reaction would be if i tried as i never attempted it before. Finally sometimes she removes hair from her foot. She started removing some recently, I dont now if shes molting or plucking (the bad kind). She has been adamant about one of her primary flight feather which is sorta overgrown (unevenly) compared to the other feathers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted December 16, 2009 Author Share Posted December 16, 2009 danmcq wrote: Welcome to the forum!! You say she asks to come out and states "No Bite". Once she is out of the cage. How does she interact with you? The reason I ask, is she may just be "Cage Aggressive". Well i mean she "asks" when im around and i dont take her out becuase im doing something or not able to sit with her. She says "goood girl, no bite" and this is also after the 2-3 times she tried to bite me and i put her in her cage and walked away and ignored her for 10-20 mins. She then called for me and said my name in my language, then said good girl no bite. I say good girl when she does good things. I say no bite put her in her cage and ignore when.. the 2-3 times she got a pretty good grip on my finger. Once it bled, but other times it was just very strong grip on my finger. When she is out, she is just dandy, I mean she just wants to regurg, hop on my hand, hop off, fluff up her feathers and clean them etc. she doesn't like other surfaces besides the top of the cage. I put her on a table once, she played etc for a little bit then she wanted me to get her. since then she wont let me put her on the table, she wont let go when i bring her to the table. The table is right near the cage by the way. Like 2 steps away. shes not aggressive in the cage. I mean when im around and she wants to play etc, shell bite the cage bars etc, and when she is let out, she is fine. sometimes rubs her beak aganist the cage a bit rough in my opinion. How do i introduce her to new surfaces etc. I mean the thing is with my dad around she was all over the place, walked/climbed over him, furniture, walked on floors, carpet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 hello hello, anyone out there? any advice about the regurgitation. im reading but nothing really says what to respond with.<br><br>Post edited by: ThaThaMo, at: 2009/12/20 17:51 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 As you know regurgitation is a sign of affection. What is it you think you should do? I would try to distract her if not then just ignore it and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 I want to know if there is any particular response I should do. I don't want to just ignore it cause I want her to know if push came to shove and she couldn't chew her own food, dammit I would do it and feed her. (not from my mouth for her safety) Right now I pinch her beak using my fingers, thumb on one side and pointer on the other side of her beak so the food doesn't come out and she just ends up swallowing it back. And then walks about in a circle and circle and goes and plays a bit, then comes back for more lovin'. When I say I pinch her beak, I do it ever so gently with such little force that she can easily pull her beak away when she is done without any type of resistance from my hand. Also when she gets into this mood she makes a sound that is distinct. I associate it with her happy sound. I know she wont bite me when she is making this sound and is in this mood. Her eyes become a bit squint-y and she just looks so amazingly cute and adorable. I mean i just get overwhelmed with affection when she looks at me all cute and just wants to sit on my arm. PIC below. Its almost like a little kid that just wants to play and be loved. <br><br>Post edited by: ThaThaMo, at: 2009/12/21 09:32 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
likajetta Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Hi thathamo...you have certainly been most wonderful to take your fathers parrot and care for her after his passing...did you ever watch them interact?..Greys don't much care for change but adjust nicely if there are some things that stay relatively consistant...changing cages is a big deal and I would suggest putting the cage in the room with her at a distance..moving it closer and closer over a couple of days...putting familiar objects in the new cage when it is close enough she can step onto it by herself.. putting her favorite food in the new cage only...and gradually...over the course of a week or so...changing all perches ect. to the new one and when she is actually spending the nights in it...out with the old...poof! Gone..as for the nails...take her in..it's going to be a while before she is cozy letting you file them down....if a stranger is doing it..she won't get miffed at you...:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summerc25 Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 She is adorable and I am so glad to see you are keeping your dads bird and love her. The cage thing, just what likajetta said. Eventually she will go into a new cage on her own. I am glad you are getting her a new cage as that one looks to be a bit small in the pictures. The regurgitation, I don;t think there is any particular response you should give her. My bird does that to me all the time but luckily nothing ever comes up so I just let him try. The thing with her lowering her wings on your hand sounds to me like she might be claiming you as her mate. Shaka zulu does that to me and lowers his wings and I read that is what it is. Someone correct me if I am wrong. About the dry skin, she needs to have a shower or bath a few times a week in the morning so she can dry without getting cold. Search in the forums for some threads on baths and showers. Most people use aloe just make sure search that first and read about the correct kind to get too, nothing with any kind of chemicals mixed in. As far as the nail clippings go, I would take her to the avian vet and have that done if you can and just get a wellness check up maybe if she has not had one in a few years. That might also make her think you are saving her from the evil vet that trimmed her nails hehe My bird always acts like the vet is the devil, even though he is very nice lol He is always very lovey dovey after the vet...lol Hope that helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted January 13, 2010 Author Share Posted January 13, 2010 Hello, so Tha-Tu and are getting along fine. I took her to vet and she is A-OK, had a feather that she was trying to get out that the vet said to leave and in time she will get it on her own. (its overgrown) the cage in the pic is the transport cage (her 1st cage from a long time ago), its light and she is very cool with going in and out of that... her nail, I found one of those perches that is rough and made of rock-ish stuff. its by her food so she has to perch on that when eating. This will naturally file her nails, BUT I'm taking her to a bird store to trim down the talon she has. she is okay with me now, I can put my hand in her cage and handle her to an extent without being afraid of loosing a finger. I still cant train her to go into the cage on command. right now I trick her... well sort of.. I let her out for a while before I go to work at night. 10 mins before leaving for work, I turn off the light and leave the room, she goes into her cage and onto her sleeping swing. This works great at night, but during the day what do I do? I cant keep tricking her forever. I used to give her new food in the cage and when she went in close the cage, but she figured that out and wont go in now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted January 13, 2010 Author Share Posted January 13, 2010 I got the aloe spray for her. and she gets misted, w/ polland spring/ britta filtered water 4 to 5 times a week. Tap water has chlorine which would dry her out more. She sits in the warmer part of the house always 75-80 deg. I'm reading up on introducing her to bathroom/shower etc. so i can just sprinkle water on her from a watering jug for plants. The ones that have like a shower head on it for watering plants. this way it will be bottle water. funny thing was my dad used to just take her on his arm... go to the shower.. let her into the tub.. turn on the water to slight warm.. and shower... and she would run in and out of the path of the shower stream. it was entertaining to watch. So Im sure she will be okay with it. ...I wish I can just communicate w/ her and tell her DOs and Donts and house rules. this way it would just be an understanding and i would let her hang out and do whatever she wanted long as she didn't #2 anywhere and didnt bite things. oh well.. I wonder if there is a bird whisperer. Post edited by: ThaThaMo, at: 2010/01/13 17:23<br><br>Post edited by: ThaThaMo, at: 2010/01/13 17:39 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tucker5590 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Glad to hear you are making progress with her. We have an older bird who is just getting used to us too. Hopefully we will both have good reports to share soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Regurgitating That's an affection habit which you should ignore and don't give treats while she's doing that. Walk away for a while until she stops. Then stay away for a while until she's doing other things. Buying Toys Many people make their own with everyday items that are in their house. We have a section here on toys and how they're made. Switching cages It depends upon the bird. The most popular way is to have the new cage next to the old cage so that the bird can get used to having it around. Others simply take the bird and put him in the new cage. Only your bird's temperament can tell you what to do. Trimming Nails Many people take their birds to a vet or to an experienced vet tech that can do that. Others can go to a pet store where it's done. Others do it themselves but that usually applies to people who are experienced with that kind of thing. Claws can be easily damaged. Dry Skin Your bird room is much too hot. It shouldn't be any higher then approx 70 degrees. The low end can be approx 64 degrees. 75 to 80 causes extreme dry, scaly, itchy skin and nasal problems which are no good for a grey. """""she like snuggles into my hand and almost feels like she is rubbing her belly area on my hand. She snuggles down to a point her wings are surrounding my hand, her tail is down and rubbing against my hand etc. Like she is almost cupping my hand with her body. What the heck is she doing or trying to tell me?""""""" Put the bird down or in a different position. What she's doing is purely sexual. She's masturbating on you inner hand and the longer she does it the more excited she'll get and when she gets no satisfaction from you, she'll get a bit irritated and eventually will bite when you try to stop that behavior in the future. More than likely she's also making a low huffing sound while in your hand. That's excitement building up. Nose, Face, Ears, Neck, Hair Some birds will give no problems when on or near those areas. Others will bite, nip or pull, all of witch cause pain. As far as shoulders, you'll have to test the waters and put her there a few different times. If she likes or wants to bite those areas above, remove her and don't put her on shoulders again. That means she's not a *shoulder bird*. As far as kissing on the mouth, stay away from that. There's no way to teach a parrot to not bite lips or a person's tongue and sometimes it can lead to health problems for the bird.<br><br>Post edited by: Dave007, at: 2010/01/14 03:24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittykittykitty Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Your bird is very special. Lots of good people here have excellent advice. Just remember to take it slowly and have much patience, my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Hi Abe. Welcome to you and ThaThaMo. I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad. It sounds like your Dad and ThaThaMo were quite bonded. You have been very patient with ThaThaMo and it sounds like she is now coming around. Dave has given a lot of great advice and frankly has said it all in a nutshell! Can't wait to hear more about ThaThaMo and how things are going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Hello and welcome Abe. It's so nice to hear of a person inheriting a family bird like ThaThaMo who loves her as much as you obviously do. Dave's given you some great specific responses. He's our Dr. Flock, so we all listen up when he speaks (well, types;) ). If she was used to bathing with your father she may be craving a good soaking. Try misting her with 100% aloe juice and see how she reacts. If she loves it, try taking her into the bathroom. Some people here let their bird bathe in a sink under running water, some fill up a tub with an inch or two of water and put their bird in, some use shower perches and put their bird under the shower spray. Just introduce her slowly to the idea and if she shows fear back off and take it even slower so you don't damage your trust relationship. Any way, if you finish off with a misting of the Aloe juice it will do great things for her skin and feathers. If you have someone else trim her nails, don't let her see or hear you in the room while it's being done, then rush over and "rescue" her. That way she won't associate you with whatever trauma she feels having it done. As for changing her cage, here's what worked for me and Dorian, and he is a very fearful bird, timid even for a grey. I let him see me put together the new cage across the room, all the while sounding happy and excited about it. Then over the course of a week I moved it closer to his existing cage, always in the morning so he had a full day to get used to its' new spot. When the cages were close enough together, I joined them together with a rope perch, then let him see me put his favourite food in the food dish. I had to change the water and treat a few times, but by the end of the second day his curiosity (and greed for the treat) got the better of him and he went into the new cage on his own. The only downside of this technique is that you have to have both cages set up at the same time, so you have to have enough perches and non-scary toys on hand to do it. Worked like a charm here though. I teared up reading about her talking in your dad's voice. I live with my elderly father, and although Dorian is totally my bird, he loves to talk in my father's voice. I've often thought how nice it will be to still hear dad's voice after he passes. Karma to you for loving your dad's bird and giving her a loving home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 ... okaaay... so yea the sexual habit I've been dealing with okay.. cause I get uncomfortable and I let her off on the table or cage. Hmmm I was afraid it was something like that. Now I know better. I took care of the temp. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate all the help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 You know Abe, I talk to my Ana Grey all the time. I believe they understand a lot more than you think. You have said that ThaThaMo can tell when you are thinking about your Dad and knows when you are sad. I think she understands you a lot more than you think!! <br><br>Post edited by: luvparrots, at: 2010/02/06 22:02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaThaMo Posted February 6, 2010 Author Share Posted February 6, 2010 Hello all, SO yea thathu is doing well. that aloe spray is doing wonders for her feathers, they feel like velvet and nice and soft. Im gonna get a UV light for her as i cant take her outside in the winter. I know there is more than one kind. Any suggestions as to band or kind. She is a bit more irritated with me nower days. Since I stopped letting her "sexually abuse" my hand. Instead of getting on my hand she grabs it with her foot and brings it closer to her, and then as stated earler sorta tries to bite me. I dont know if she is going to bite or "fake bite". Im not really inclined to find out. I see alot more feathers around now, I dont know if she is molting or if shes picking them out. I collected some of them and I'm gonna post picss of the base of the feather etc. this way you guys can in your expert opinion tell me if she needs something. She pulled out one of her red tail feathers, well I found it on the floor when i came to her. Also shes schedueled for a vet visit soon, same time my girlfriend's Malteese is going to the vet. Thank god for her hatchback car that can accomidate the zoo. I was thinking about turning on the TV when I'm not around is that a good idea OR should I use the radio. Were talking disney channel with Dora the explorer and that kind of shows, not Law and Order or CSI. What do you guys think? I got a cage but it wasnt as big as I expected so I returned and am waiting for tax return so I can get her the beverly hills version of a cage as she deserves it for being such a good girl... most of the time...<br><br>Post edited by: ThaThaMo, at: 2010/02/06 16:02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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