Panic attacks

[Sindbad]

Hello again everyone. I know every time I write I'm just making sure my dear Sindbad is normal and nothing is wrong. This time, I know some thing is wrong.

 

Sindbad is always a happy bird. At times he bit, but in general he is always sweet, always singing and repeating the few words he knows.

A few days ago, I went home took him out of his cage, put him on top as usual, talked to him a little bit, then I went to my desk. There was an empty dish that has little crumbs from the sandwich I was eating in the morning. To my surprise, the dish had at least 1000 ants. yes, you read it right one thousand. I was stunned. I took it to the sink and found the more in the sink and on the counter. I went back to the desk and found lines of ants coming from a whole where the satellite cable goes. I freaked out trying to deal with this ant attack. Suddenly Sindbad decided to go to the try at the bottom of his tray where there he has thrown some food to chew on the newspaper in there. I was really scared that he might have ants on him. I yelled at him saying "Sindbad, NO go back to the top". He didn't do it. So, I rushed to him saying no. He was so scared I guess and started running from me up and around the cage. He was screaming with that panic scream that we never heared from him. I held him and he was still screaming in panic. I tried to quite him and hiss him as usual but he was pulling his beak away from me and screaming. When I put him on the cage he ran to the other side. I was so saddened because he is my buddy. I got him because we don't have babies and I was treating him like my baby, literally. I never did any thing that would make him so scared of me like that. I always said no firmly and he understood it. so he did quit when he heard me saying no ** well most of the time**

 

I spent the next couple of days tryign to get closer to him again, and he started kissing me and chewing on lip again. But yesterday he was eating in his cage, and he started picking up the things he does not like in his food and throwing them in the bottom tray. I was passing near and I said "Sindbad, No." And he had another panic attack screaming the ugly scream. I went to him but he came to me and shortly stopped screaming.

 

I'm really depressed because of this. I don't know how to handle this. I can handle him dowing crazy things, but it just makes me feel terrible when he shows that he is scared of me or he doesn't like me. What should I do to get him back to our normal relationship? He used pick up words from me, laughs like me, kisses me, etc. He didn't do that with my wife. But now he is cautious of me, although he still does every thing he used to most of the time.

 

Please help. Thank you very much for your kindness.

 

P.S. Any unkind response is really not welcome. I became a member of this group for the support not for negative feedback.

[judygram]

You really have to be consistent with your telling him no and he didn't understand why you were telling him not to go to the bottom of the cage and when you rushed to him he was scared by your actions. He sensed your fear and reacted by his natural instinct to flee from you and whatever was scaring you.

 

The next time something like this happens try to remain calmer about it and he won't get as upset about it, they really do feed off our emotions.

 

In time he will be back to his old self but keep that in mind in the future not to over react to things so as not to upset him more than is necessary.

[Luvparrots]

You were afraid and you certainly conveyed that to Sindbad. He didn't know what he had done to make you so upset with him and reacted with fear and confusion. You got more upset with his reaction and the chain reaction escalated. Just relax and Sindbad will also relax. If you over worry so will he. So calm down. Please let us know what you and Sindbad have been up to lately. It's always nice to hear from family!

[JillyBeanz]

I panicked when I first tried the harness on Harvey - and this was conveyed to him. He steered clear of me for a bit too - I'd frightened him with my panic and of course he reciprocated my fear.

 

Harvey's was back to "normal" in no time at all - I've learned not to over-react to any situations involving Harvey as I know how he'll react too.

 

You'll not do it again as you know now what harm it can do - keep working with Sinbad - he'll be fine, it'll be over and forgotten in no time!

[Jane08]

Please don't be depressed, we have all done it with our greys. Don't take it personally he doesn't hate you, he is just confused and trying to figure out what is going on and this is his reaction to the situation.

 

I have always found that if I scare one of our 2 I then go over to them, not too close and quietly apologise to them and then ask if they are ok and then I leave them alone to get over it. The worst thing you can do is rush over all concerned and force yourself on them. Then I just act like nothing has happened. When I come back 5min later everything is fine.

[she]

Dont worry too much. Ok Sinbad got a fright and is still remembering it a little but from what you say he is already coming round so just give him a bit of time.I hope you managed to sort the ants,nasty horrible things.I would have been in a right panic.

[casper]

The other members have given great advice and reasuurance. Im sure Sinbad will be back to his normal self soon.

 

What a coincidence, I also had lots of ants in the room where my birds are, they also got in around a television cable. Hope you managed to sort them out, creepy things.

 

Baby powder to the rescue and it worked a treat!

[danmcq]

Sindbad wrote:

I was passing near and I said "Sindbad, No." And he had another panic attack screaming the ugly scream. I went to him but he came to me and shortly stopped screaming.

 

Wow, sorry to hear of the fear issue of Sinbad you are now dealing with.

 

They react just like any flock or herd member to one becoming upset. All start reacting and become fearful of whatever alarmed the first. They also remember what that danger was and the call to alarm the initiating member used to communicate that danger.

 

I suspect as you were passing by and said "No" again, which is very similar to the first alarm in nature, he alerted and reacted based on that first "Call to Danger" by you, his flock member. So it brought back all the intensity of that first moment.

 

This will pass in time as you continue to just assure him all is ok, as you have been doing. It just takes time for them to sort all that mental and emotional input out before they come to the conclusion you and the surroundings are completely safe.

[ecodweeb]

Everyone else has basically said it:

 

* Sinbad didn't understand the circumstances of the scolding and reacted with a natural fear response

 

* your remorse is detected by him now, and being the manipulative little creatures they are, he will try and use this to his advantage (ie he screams when you say no, ignore this behavior and tell him no -- you cannot give in to a screaming child, nor a screaming parrot)

 

* Consistency is key. It's very hard, but there is no alternative.

 

* You're going to put this behind you in short order and laugh about it later.

 

Also, tip from one parrot keeper to another: baby powder will stop the ants in their tracks. Coat the cable hole in the wall and around the sink and around Sinbad's cage... they can't detect their tracks in it and they get confused and somehow die. Don't understand the science, just know it works and is VERY cheap compared to the Orkin man.

[Sindbad]

Thank you all for your wonderful tips. More important, thanks a million for your reassurance.

 

When I saw him in the tray, I was worried that he might be stung by an ant... and that would be painful. We sprayed and tomorrow the pest control team is coming to do treatment. May be I'll take him to work tomorrow.

He seems to be ok now.... except that he wouldn't allow me to touch his back .. and sometimes his neck, and I haven't tried to say "no" again. But if he is manipulative of this, I will say it when he needs to hear it. do you think I should? :huh:

 

Any way, I'll be patient and I'll put this behind me and hopefully he'll forget.

 

Thanks to every one who responded.

[ecodweeb]

I would not allow any pest control company to spray with the parrot in the house. They are spraying a toxin and birds are extra sensitive to those. I would take the bird to work, and wait until I couldn't smell the smell to bring him back in. If this meant leaving him overnight, or staying overnight with him at a friends home, that's what I would do.

[Sindbad]

I acutually took his cage out on the patio in the open air. but you actually brought in a good idea of not keeping him inside till tomorrow. We've had them spray three times in the past few years and by the time we were back at home, we couldn't smell anything, but you never know if there could be something toxic to him that we can't smell. Thanks a lot for bringing this to my attention.

[rbpittman]

Well here's my two cents worth!

 

First - you panicked, we all have, and it's expected. Sinbad is your baby and you reacted the same way you would have had he been a human child. That doesn't change your feelings one bit (his being human or avian). Sinbad is your baby. The only true difference is you can talk to a child and to a certain degree you can use your human words to explain why you were so upset and what caused the panic; pointing out the ants, the danger they represented and why you reacted as quickly and forcefully as you did. I would have done the same thing.

 

While I wouldn't expect anyone other than a grey owner to consider this, since they don't understand the connection we have with our fids, I would in all honesty sit down and talk to Sinbad in the same tone you would a 2 or 3 year old child and explain, 1. I'm sorry I caused you to be afraid of me. 2. There was a danger, and I was afraid you were going to be hurt. 3. I rushed to you because I love you, and if you were hurt in any way, I too would be hurt. 4. While you may not like my telling you "no" at times, I will only do this when your safety and health are at stake, and while you may not like it, I have a reason. 5. Be consistent, keep the emotion out of your voice when saying no, and hug him and kiss him and love him all the more.

 

Like with human children, they want the discipline, they need the discipline, and they will push their limits to make sure you still love them.

[Sindbad]

thank you very much for your detailed instructions. Quite honestly I don't know how to talk to a 2 or 3 year old because I enver had one, but your post will help me a lot.

The one thing that is very true is the kind of attachment I developed with him. I never had a pet in my life and I never thought I would be attached to pet. But I truely treat Sindbad like a child. And I was very hurt when this situation happened. Dark thoughts jumped to my mind and I started thinking if never gets over it and I had to find him another home, I felt horrible. So I decided to do what it takes to win him back. Thank God he is much better now.

But I will follow your instructions. Man, I need to print them and memorize. hahaha

[ecodweeb]

Talking to a toddler is easy. Simple, slowly, but not baby-like with the goo goo's and the ga ga's.

 

He may not grasp the words but he will get the body language.