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Happy Halloween!!!!!


Luvparrots

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How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?

 

A: With scare spray

 

 

How do monsters tell their future?

 

A: They read their horrorscope

 

 

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

 

A: No, they eat the fingers separately

 

 

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

 

A: To improve his bite

 

 

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

 

A: Frostbite

 

 

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?

 

A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy

 

 

What is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?

 

A: Decoffinated

 

 

What is a baby ghost's favorite game?

 

A: Peekaboo

 

 

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?

 

A: A cereal killer

 

 

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

 

A: They're too wrapped up in themselves

 

 

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?

 

A: A blood vessel

 

 

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

 

A: Bloodhounds

 

 

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

 

A: A stake sandwich

 

 

 

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?

 

A: A Poultrygeist

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Halloween? Gosh, I thought I missed it, the stores are already putting out the Christmas merchandise as of two 'eeks ago. (actually, I accidently mistyped that.. but it fit) The graphics and jokes are much appreciated from all of you. Thanks, I needed that.

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Ha Ha Ha Ha! I'm at work, it's 07.21 am and I'm sitting here crying laughing!!

 

I would like to complain as that picture of me is TOTALLY unrepresentative. I have far more whiskers on my chin than that early photo of me you have. I can actually plait my beard now!!!

 

PS. Bernie - keep that photo of me, because one day Janet won't be laughing when you sell it for millions - it'll be a classic :laugh:

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