biting

[Raiderbabe]

Hey everyone! I have not been on in soo long because I have been so busy lately. Malibu is now 1 year and 6 months old. He is talking but only says a few words which scares me to think that he will not ever talk much. He does more sounds than words. However, he has learned to say "hello", "step up", "hi", and is learning "good boy". SO, I hope he continues to learn but is just some what of a slow learner. Anyways, I am having another problem. He is biting me a lot when he does not want to do something. He bites when he does not want to step up, when he does not want to get off the desk (he loves the key board), and basically anytime he does not want to listen. He bites hard! What can I do??? I need help because I am really getting frustrated getting bit all the time. He does what he wants to in this house. He now has taught himself to climb off of his cage and playgym straight to the floor and then climbs on top of me and wants to either bite me or sit on my shoulder, which I do not allow. He has basically become the boss of the household which I guess is my fault because I allowed some things to occur. He is my baby and I do as much as I can with him and I think I baby him too much and he constantly wants to be with me. If he isn't with me or I don't include him in something, I feel bad. Please help! Any suggestions from anyone on what I can do!

[danmcq]

Good to see you on here again. :-)

 

First, your grey is not slow and will continue to master new words.

 

Second, he is maturing and realizes he has the ability to make a choice, namely refusing what you want by biting. YOu need to learn his body language and know when he is telling you the step-up is not going to happen without a fight. Thus, you can avoid a bite. Most Greys go through just just like a child realizing they have a brain and can make decisions with it.

 

Third, big mistake if he thinks he is boss of the household. You need to ensure he understands that the flock respects each other and has operating rules in place. If you don't want him on you at the time, take him and place him back on a stand or on his cage. You may need to do this 100 times before he realises you are not going to change your mind.

 

Almost every Grey owner goes thorough this. YOu little baby is gone and the crazy teen is emerging trying to exercise his independence. You do need to recognize his desire NOT to step up at times and just leave him be. Unless you need to move him for a good reason. This will build an understanding relationship between you two as a healthy flock.<br><br>Post edited by: danmcq, at: 2009/10/10 14:41

[pearllyn]

Hi Raiderbabe,

Just to let you know, my grey, Alfie is 20 months old now, and I have just gone through a similar thing with her that you are describing with Malibu. Around 8 weeks ago Alfie started biting me, hard. She would draw blood every time. I posted a plea for help on here - very much sounding like yours!

With all the good advice I got, I'm very pleased to say we have turned a corner, and our relationship is great at the moment. I have to say though, that it did get a tiny little bit worse before it got better, because as Dan said, she's testing you to see how much she can get away with!

I got through it by largely not reacting to the bites - it hurts a little less when you clench your fist if you know it's coming! When Alf was really naughty, I gave her a time out in a travel cage with no toys and no contact for 5 minutes, she got the message very quickly and the biting stopped. I must stress though that these time outs were saved for only the really bad behaviour, and not given lightly.

 

Dan, you said

"You do need to recognize his desire NOT to step up at times and just leave him be. Unless you need to move him for a good reason. "

 

Is it just a case of, if we really need to handle them when they don't want it, just to grit our teeth and take the bite? It's very easy to see when Alfie doesn't want to, say, go back in her cage, but if I let her stay out, then she is calling the shots. how do we get round that? Bribery does help, but is that a good idea?

 

Hang in there Radierbabe - there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

Lyn & Alfie

 

xx

[judygram]

Dan is so right, you need to establish you are the flock leader and you dictate what goes on in your household. He is asserting his independence by biting you but if you use the techniques that Dan gave you then the problems should decrease or stop all together.

 

I sum it up in one word, you have a male.:whistle: :lol: :silly:

[danmcq]

pearllyn wrote:

Dan, you said

"You do need to recognize his desire NOT to step up at times and just leave him be. Unless you need to move him for a good reason. "

 

Is it just a case of, if we really need to handle them when they don't want it, just to grit our teeth and take the bite?

 

No, this means to watch their body language as you approach for a step-up. If you see they are not lifting their Talon, are fluffing up, eyes pinning etc. Just stop and tell them to go on and play or whatever it is they are doing. This way you don't get bit. It also teaches them they do not need to bite you every time they don't want to move. You acknowledged their talking to you through body language and they appreciate that.

 

Vice versa, if your voice becomes stern and demanding and they see you are coming at them with the fist clinched, back of hand skin drawn tight and that is what your offering for them to step up on, they will very quickly learn to just do it. They cannot bite the back of your hand when balled up and drawn tight like that.

[pearllyn]

It's common sense stuff, really isn't it. Thanks again Dan!

[SamsDad]

Great post because two nights ago Sam decided he was in charge NOT me for the first time since I've had him! It was our nightly play time, where I sit in my easy chair and he sits on me for scratching and play. That night he started striking at me when I didn't do what he wanted. I often forget to remove my watch before he joins me, and he usually will remind me by lightly grabbing it and trying to play with it. I'll gently pull his beak off tell him its not a toy and take it off. That night he ran down my arm, grabbed the watch and clamped down. To him that the watch WAS a toy and it was his toy NOT mine! I pulled his beak away and he bit my finger. This nipping and biting continued until at one point he struck at my face. It wasn't a bite but it was agressive and I needed to stop him before it got worse. That's when I gave him a time-out back in his cage for about ten minutes. I didn't say a word to him and made sure I didn't even look at him. He banged around in his cage thowing a fit for about 5 minutes before he calmed down. When he was calm for a while I quietly went to get him asking him to step up to re-establish that I was in charge. It worked because he was much calmer and when it looked like he was going to try a bite, I'd say "don't bite" and he stopped. He knows what the word mean because I'll tell him when we're playing and he gets a little over excited and squeezes my fingertips too hard.

 

The rest of that evening, and the night after he was his old self - well mannered and gentle. Now that I know the terrible twos may have arrived I've changed one aspect of our evenings at the begining of our play time. Up until now, I've let him climb down off his cage and walk over to my chair where he'd climb up and we's start our playtime. For now, I'm going to be the one to initiate the start of play. I'm not going to let him decide, I'll go to his cage, say "its play time" and ask for him to step-up. I hope this sends the message that I'm the one in charge.

 

Please be patient and follow the good advice that others have offered. If you search my posts you'll read about my battle with biting with my previous grey Nelson, that I thought I'd never win. He was shredding my hands and I had to resort to using a dowel to pick him up and put him back in his cage. It took months of work to get him to stop and I thought I'd never be able to handle him again. I stuck with it, and and he finally decided it wasn't going to work anymore and our good relationship returned.