ImagoX Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Dexter is a 3-year old gray. Up until about a year ago it seemed like I was his "favorite" person - he let me take him out and touch him everywhere, never bit (only beaked me), etc. About a year ago he started acting really weird sometimes when I had him out - he would hunch forward with his wings held away from his body (mating behavior?) and he'd start quivering and making a kind of grunting noise. People here said to just ignore it unless if became aggressive so I did. We moved to a new house a few months ago and he seemed to adjust OK - he still let me take him out and touch him MOST of the time, but he'd started to bite. I put it down to the stress of the move and tried to not take it personal, and always tried talking to him softly even when he nipped me. As the weeks have gone by, he's biting me harder and harder. Today he actually drew blood from my hand - I could kind of tell from his facial expression/posture that I shouldn't let him have a finger but he actually grabbed the side of my hand and chomped. I admit I got annoyed and put him away. I know I shouldn't use the cage as "punishment", but I don't want him flapping around the house if I can't pick him up again. What do I do??? I'm home all day (I work from home) so I thought that being around all day would be great for us, but when I open his cage any more he won't even come out half the time - he just sits inside the door and glares out at me, and I'm honestly afraid to stuck my hand in of get bit. At this point of he flies off the cage he'll let me get him when he lands on the floor, but of he's perched half the time he'll just chomp me if I try and offer him a finger to step up. Help!!! I really love my bird but I'm starting to instinctively flinch when he beaks me which CAN'T be good, and honestly the charm's wearing thin since all he seems interested in any more is biting me. Post edited by: ImagoX, at: 2009/09/24 21:48<br><br>Post edited by: ImagoX, at: 2009/09/24 21:49 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Some greys do go thru a change of favorite person but he is probably just asserting his independence now that he is 3 years old. He wants to be more in control of what he does and doesn't do and he has decided he doesn't want to be touched very much any more. They also will test you and he may be doing just that to see what he can get away with. I would give him some space for now, continue to talk to him and be around him but don't force anything right now and see if it improves with a little time. We have several members who have a lot of experience with greys and understand them better than I do and maybe one of them will be able to give you some help on this problem so hang in for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchroedersJen Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Judy has given you some good advice. I agree that your bird is trying to be top dog. Don't take that poop! Assert yourself and be flock leader by giving him space and your grey realize that he misses you and comes groveling back. It might help for you to start giving special attention to another object in the house. This might sound silly, but when Schroeder acts that way, I fawn over my house plants. Tell them they are "handsome boys" (a term I use for Schroeder), and offer them cheese and kisses. I'm sure it looks lame from the outside, but MAN seeing those houseplants get HIS attention usually straightens him out. I am careful not to give extra attention to my other bird or husband, because Schroeder is a jealous brat and typically takes out his anger on the new object of my affection when I have to play that game. A mutilated african violet can be thrown out and replaced. A mutilated husband or senegal has more expensive bills attached. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I would also give him some space, if he bites you when you touch him stop touching him, this is his way of telling you he doesn't want it. I had the same thing with Kea, if I got anywhere close to her she would take a piece of me and hard as well. I also became scared of going near her and I know she sensed this and took advantage of it. I just stopped putting myself in those situations where she could bite and my confidence started to grow. I then devised a plan to overcome the biting. The first part was just to become more aware of her body langauge and what she is telling me. Second I would just get close to her no touching and quietly have conversations with her and give her an odd treat. The last step was to use those treats to train her to do things. She really responded to the training and we went back to basics with step up, wave and finally fetch. I did this for months with her and she really changed and we started to have fun together. I became confident in handling her again and the biting stopped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImagoX Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Yeah, I can talk quietly with Dexter from outside the cage and even scritch him through the bars and he seems to like it. He beaks me lightly when I do this but almost never bites. It's when I open the cage (something he used to LOVE and would call to me for) that the problem begins. before, he rushed right out and presented his head for scratching, and actually reached out for me to pick him up - now all he does is glare at me (I know his body language all too well). I guess that in the grand scheme of things a few months of attitude adjustment are no big deal given how long these birds live, but it's a real bummer. Dexter already won't let my girlfriend anywhere near him - he bites at her when she has to feed him for me and she's ready to just wash her hands of him. She loves how fun he is and how he talks and plays, but I think the biting has really turned her off to him. Now that he's biting ME I'm worried that he's just one of those antisocial grays you hear about sometimes, and honestly, I'm not sure of I WANT a pet that covers my entire living room with dust, nut shells and feathers on a daily basis that won't let me near him. <br><br>Post edited by: ImagoX, at: 2009/09/25 16:02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I do feel for you but you must know that there is no such thing as an antisocial grey. The grey does not have the problem, it's you. Don't take this the wrong way all I am saying is that we teach our greys how to behave and interact with us and sometimes we are not aware of the problem we are creating. We are the ones that create these problems, i.e the biting and then we blame our birds which isn't really fair. Your bird is trying to communicate with you and you are not listening so he resorts to biting which achieves the desired results. He gets something out of this behaviour and thinks it's ok. Totally not his fault. Believe me I know the frustration and you are right it is a bummer, but it doesn't have to be like this if you are prepared to work at it. I thought Kea would never ever interact with me but with months and months of changing how I dealt with her really paid off. There is no quick fix, it will take time, an action plan and patience. You have such a young grey and this can really be turned around, don't give up on Dexter he deserves more than that. Post edited by: Jane08, at: 2009/09/25 16:38<br><br>Post edited by: Jane08, at: 2009/09/25 16:38 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImagoX Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 I hear what you're saying but I don't get what he hopes to accomplish. Instead of coming out and having attention paid to him, he's stuck in his cage. I guess that's what he wants right now. I'll keep at it, but I'm not sure what I should be doing different. Won't paying MORE attention to him (from outside the cage) reinforce and reward the current bad behavior? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pearllyn Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I've gone/am going through a similar thing with Alfie. She is testing her boundaries to the limit! I've had a few bloody fingers, and she's had a few time-outs in her travel cage (no toys). She is definitely biting alot less. The link below is an interesting thread from danmcq - it may help you at least understand your greys behaviour! http://www.greyforums.net/component/option,com_joomlaboard/Itemid,27/func,view/catid,19/id,160836/ Jane is right - your bird is young enough for you to turn this around, but it will/may take a lot of time and effort from you. Hope everything works out. Lyn & Alf x You can read a similar post of mine and some of the answers I got by clicking the link below. http://www.greyforums.net/component/option,com_joomlaboard/Itemid,27/func,view/catid,5/id,156022/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImagoX Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Those were great threads - thanks. Gives me hope that Dexter's just not gone bananas for good. Dealing with birds is HARD. I think I, like many people raised as childreon on a steady diet of "feel good" movies and stories where people befriend animals and where our most common house pets (dogs and cats) are generally mild-mannered and fast-maturing are simply not prepared for what it means to raise such a long-lived and strong-willed creature. I bought Dexter from a pet store where he was handled on a daily basis by not only a care-giver (employee) but also by a stream of strangers. A breeder at a bird show told me that this would help "socialize" the bird, and for the first year/1.5 years this definitely seemed to be the case, but it sounds like all I was really experiencing was a period of immaturity. Now that Dexter's personality is developing more, sounds like I just have to be patient and weather the storm. Boy is it hard though. I miss my formerly-loving bird!! :( <br><br>Post edited by: ImagoX, at: 2009/09/25 17:24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pearllyn Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Hang in there I still get lovely cuddles from Alfie in the evenings! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 As Lyn said, hang in there for I think it will get better in time but our birds are not like cats and dogs as you are finding out. They can be very strong willed but if we work with them and come to an understanding with them then we manage to get along very well and I think things will improve for you, you just have to work at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImagoX Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 What would you recommend I do to "work at it"? SO far I've seen lots confirming that this is a typical problem/challenge, but I'm still fuzzy on the best solution. Right now I'm just giving him space and not letting him out (his cage is in the living room and my office is in the ajoining dining room) and stopping by his cage whenever I get up to say a few words. If he comes over, I give him scritchies through the bars. Treats don't motivate him at all - he won't even eat fruit any more (he used to love grapes, now he just throws them on the cage floor). Thanks for the advice, all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Has Dexter been to the vet lately? I ask because of your statement that he wants to sit in the cage and bites when you try to take him out. You see I have never had to "take" Whisper out of her cage. She always comes running out when I open the door. Seriously, If my bird suddenly started acting off and did not want to come out of the cage, the first thing I would do is take her to the vet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aly~ Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 On this biting topic. My Grey is going through the same thing. I want to spend time with her, but she can get nasty and she goes with the sneak attack method. I don't want to toss her in the cage and leave her there, but I too get a little nervous around what I know she can do...HURT!! Is it wrong of me to put her in her travel cage and take her wherever I go in the house, just to be near her? I set her little cage down and let her watch tv or taunt the dog. I know they need out of cage time too, which brings me to another questions I'll post as a different topic...... Why can't my bird fly??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImagoX Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 UPDATE: Dexter came out over the weekend and was very lovey. Didn't bite me at all for a change, and in fact was his usual cuddly self. He even regurgitated a bit when I was scratching him (just a little clear liquid), which is a first for him. I guess I just need to learn when to give him his space and back off when he has "that look" in his eye. Re: vet - He has not been in about 2 years. Where I live now there don't seem to be any good avian vets, and I always hate stuffing him in his travel cage. He also hasn't been clipped in a while - honestly, I was scared to take him to a vet or to the pet store where I like taking him for trimming because I was worried he'd chomp on someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Sometimes we have to respect their space and wanting to be left alone at times, learning to read his body language will help you so much in knowing when to back off for the time being. He really should be seen by an avian vet to make sure he is healthy and if you take him on outings so he gets to view the travel cage as going somewhere fun then you may not have to "stuff" him into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I am glad taking notice of Dexters body language is helping the situation.Let him out daily but make sure he has some time in the cage while you go about the house.I would let him come out of the cage on his own.A vet visit is a good idea.My birds go in the carrier daily , to be taken to the aviary or given a treat if the weather is bad.and they cant go out.It helps them view the carrier as a good thing and I never have a problem with them going in.<br><br>Post edited by: she, at: 2009/10/10 19:05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovethatgrey Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 judygram wrote: Sometimes we have to respect their space and wanting to be left alone at times, learning to read his body language will help you so much in knowing when to back off for the time being. He really should be seen by an avian vet to make sure he is healthy and if you take him on outings so he gets to view the travel cage as going somewhere fun then you may not have to "stuff" him into it. Regurgitating CLEAR LIQUID does not sound right at all. You really should get in the habit of taking your parrot to the vet at least every 15 months. This should be done whether he seems fine or not. Sounds like he is very much due for a vet visit especially given the fact that his personality has changed quite a bit. In addition.. please take the necessary time to search and read through the numerous threads on here in order to help you understand your african grey. Your situation is not unique and giving up is not a solution. Post edited by: lovethatgrey, at: 2009/10/10 19:25<br><br>Post edited by: lovethatgrey, at: 2009/10/10 19:29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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