how to make my grey lovable?

[windchimetime]

is it impossible now, she's already 2! and shes been attacking me since i bought her as a baby.

 

i'm so fed up with my grey, sometimes i wish i just bought an older macaw.

 

i tried to be lovable with her and pet her, she puts on an act and puts her head down for a scratch, and then she took a HUGE bite at me and didnt let go, she took a big chunk of skin out of the web of my finger and its been hurting me all day =(

 

i try to not yell at her, i just say "no" or "no bite" in a normal tone, but she still attacks me....the only time i can touch her is when shes done getting her nails clipped because shes practically in shock then from being held down in a towel.

 

i know that greys pick one person, and she lets only me hold her, but whenever someone walk near her or talks to her a foot away, she will take it out on me and bite the crap outta me since she cant reach that person she doesnt like...

 

how did she get like this? i see on here all you ppl with great birds, but mine is just a nut case that tries to kill me!

[Joolesgreyuk]

Don't feel alone, what you see on here is only part of the story, all greys have this side to them. Beau takes it out on me also when my son gets too close to him. They take it out on the ones closest to them when they get frightened. You will need a lot of patience and persevere with her. Have you tried to coax her with food? The way to a parrot's heart is through their crop lol!

 

I'm sure Dave, Dan and Judy will chime in with their ideas as they are far more knowledgeable on parrots than me but please don't get dispondant.

[windchimetime]

Joolesgreyuk wrote:

Don't feel alone, what you see on here is only part of the story, all greys have this side to them. Beau takes it out on me also when my son gets too close to him. They take it out on the ones closest to them when they get frightened. You will need a lot of patience and persevere with her. Have you tried to coax her with food? The way to a parrot's heart is through their crop lol!

 

well, she's afraid of food, and basically any object, she screams at anything bigger than a finger, its pathetic...

do you think if every time she gets mad i can trap her in a towel, because whenever i take her to the shop for her nails done, she gets wiped out from being held down and it keeps her from biting a little...

or is that too harsh to be rough with her?

[Joolesgreyuk]

Do you towel her often? Maybe this is the cause - fear of having this done? I wouldn't recommend doing this other than when completely necessary. Does she eat well normally or is she just afaid of it when you offer it by hand? She does sound a little wild.

[windchimetime]

Joolesgreyuk wrote:

Do you towel her often? Maybe this is the cause - fear of having this done? I wouldn't recommend doing this other than when completely necessary. Does she eat well normally or is she just afaid of it when you offer it by hand? She does sound a little wild.

 

no, i did the towel thing once, whenever i wrap her up for a few mins it chills her out...and she doesnt bite when she wants to go in her cage, she starts biting when i take her out, and shes violent for attention, she throws stuff and bangs her toys on the cage really loud, but i cant take her out if she keeps biting...i might have to take away her toys if she keeps having these tantrums

[judygram]

I won't be of much help because my grey never bites me but she is not the cuddly bird like some others either. She usually will nudge me or maybe grumble a little when she doesn't want to do something, she has never taken to biting me to tell me something.

 

I know all greys are individuals and some here have greys that are very cuddly, most are more so when they are babies and then as they mature they don't want that closeness any more.

 

Are you your grey's favorite person for usually that person doesn't get bit as often as another member of the household?

 

Are you able to read your grey's body language? Usually most people can tell when a bite is coming by reading the signals a grey sends. That head scratch your grey is asking for then turns around and bites is called the sucker punch and usually you can tell that by the direction of the eyes, if they are looking up then a bite is more likely coming.

 

I wish I could tell you something to help you but Dave is the person to ask for help on this subject as he knows the greys very well, he has had pets and breeder greys for many years and he knows them inside and out.

 

I do know one thing, if you suspect a bite is coming ball your hand up into a fist, it will make the skin tight on the back and your bird will be less likely to get a good grip, at least that is the theory.

[windchimetime]

bites is called the sucker punch and usually you can tell that by the direction of the eyes, if they are looking up then a bite is more likely coming.

 

yup, i try to put my hand in a fist but she still seems to find a way to catch the skin, i also need to learn how to trim her beak because i constantly have to take her...even with her beak shaved, it still hurts, shes super strong.

 

she is so un-behaved ...i've tried everyway to train her...i dont want to give her up, being that she wouldnt get a home anyway...because i begged my parents for her, and i loved her when she was a few months old, but now its getting out of control..

 

can living in a loud house stress her out? my house is so loud and she is starting to pick up curse words!

[judygram]

What do you mean by loud, are there lots of people in the house, are they coming and going constantly? Yes that could be stressful for her and she will pick up those curse words too.

 

I would be careful of trimming the beak, only someone with experience like your avian vet should do that, we just had a member trim his grey's beak and she bled profusely and had to be rushed to the vet.

[windchimetime]

judygram wrote:

What do you mean by loud, are there lots of people in the house, are they coming and going constantly? Yes that could be stressful for her and she will pick up those curse words too.

 

I would be careful of trimming the beak, only someone with experience like your avian vet should do that, we just had a member trim his grey's beak and she bled profusely and had to be rushed to the vet.

 

ok, i wont try that..

but there arnt a lot of people here, we have 4 ppl in the house, but we are a loud family.

and i also have lots of pets in the house too, idk if that has anything to do with it though

[jessdecutie18]

Sounds rough! I think you need to give us MUCH more detail of your parrot's daily life and routine. How's the cage? With the loud noises, is she getting much sleep at night? She needs time out of that cage. I think there is a lot more going on here and that you need to consider the way you are treating your bird and what it has to put up with. You can't just expect it to be 'lovable' if you don't put the time, effort, and proper care into your Grey.

 

I'm not trying to sound mean here. I just feel that I can relate to this. I am a new Grey owner, but in High School I used to have a Quaker Parrot. I loved him at first, but in the end I was too young to have this responsibility. I didn't have the time for him, or the money to spoil him, and I was just unprepared. He started biting and this just resulted in hurt feeling and more time in his cage, which obviously ended up just making everything worse. He went from the sweetest baby ever to being uncontrollable. Giving up Kiwi, my quaker, was a very hard thing for me, I begged my parents to death to get him, but in the end it was for the best. Since then he has been living with an experienced older friend that spoils him rotten and is happy as can be.

 

I leant from that experience that taking on a parrot is a big responsibility, and as much as you may want one and as much as you love him, you have to be ready to take on the responsibility and willing to give up time as well. I will never make that mistake again.

 

Just my thoughts...

[Joolesgreyuk]

You say you have a loud house but if you've had her for 2 years she should be used to that by now unless the noises are sudden and frightening to her. Mine came from a pet shop which is also reasonably noisy but then he was and is a baby.

 

Judy has picked up on a very good point though when she said it is usually only babies that are cuddy birds, yours is getting past that stage now. Most (not all) members of this forum have babies or very young parrots.

[windchimetime]

i feel the same way as you jess....i asked for her 2 years ago, and i visited her every single day at the shop until i could take her home...i even took her home earlier than i was allowed to and i fed her the formula...idk what happened..

i am in high school, but i also do track everyday and karate and guitar twice a week! i can't imagine getting a job now, i'm so busy and i guess its my fault shes home alone all day....

 

from now on i'm going to take her out everyday when i get home and let her chill in my room when i do homework, then eventually i will try to handle her and pet her...maybe this year she will get better. I really hope so, because i'm going to have her like my whole life

[jessdecutie18]

Socialization is an important factor in raising a parrot. If your bird is freaking out at everything and everyone, it has obviously not had much socialization or a chance to explore different places and get used to different sights. Do you change around what's inside the cage often? How big is the cage?

 

I'm glad you came to the forum for help. It shows that no matter how many mistakes were made in the past with your bird's upbringing, you are wanting to fix everything now. I just hope you aren't looking for a fast fix and actually have the time to change things.

[jessdecutie18]

My baby is still finishing hand feeding too, I didn't want to wait either I know exactly how you felt. I understand a busy schedule, that was my problem with Kiwi. School all week then I wanted to go out partying and watching movies with friends. I didn't give my Kiwi the time she diserved. That's excellent that you will keep trying, that you are determined to keep her.

 

Go slow, don't give up. I can tell that you want her. Do you know her favorite foods? Let her come out on her own, encourage her while you do homework to come out, give her treats.

 

What do your parents think of her? My parents were not bird people and that just made everything so hard. Kiwi ended up stuck in my room because my parents didn't want bird poop everywhere. Now I live with my open-minded husband, and I can choose to have playstands in different rooms and have my baby out wherever I am. This is very convienient because then instead of sacrificing the things I like, like eating at the dining room table with my husband or watching T.V., Yoshi (my grey) can join in with all these things.

[windchimetime]

jessdecutie18 wrote:

Socialization is an important factor in raising a parrot. If your bird is freaking out at everything and everyone, it has obviously not had much socialization or a chance to explore different places and get used to different sights. Do you change around what's inside the cage often? How big is the cage?

 

I'm glad you came to the forum for help. It shows that no matter how many mistakes were made in the past with your bird's upbringing, you are wanting to fix everything now. I just hope you aren't looking for a fast fix and actually have the time to change things.

 

i want to let her explore the house, but i have so many pets (cats and dogs walking aroun) and i'm afraid she will bite them. And when i let her walk around my bedroom, she poops literally every 10 steps she takes, i guess to mark her territory? lol

 

i don't have the time, really only after 5 pm, but i'm really going to try....my mom wants to take her to work (we have an extra cage) but no one can touch her besides me.

[windchimetime]

Do you know her favorite foods? Let her come out on her own, encourage her while you do homework to come out, give her treats.

 

What do your parents think of her? My parents were not bird people and that just made everything so hard. Kiwi ended up stuck in my room because my parents didn't want bird poop everywhere. Now I live with my open-minded husband, and I can choose to have playstands in different rooms and have my baby out wherever I am. This is very convienient because then instead of sacrificing the things I like, like eating at the dining room table with my husband or watching T.V., Yoshi (my grey) can join in with all these things.

 

her favorite foods are pasta, blueberries, and she loves grapes (but they make her barf them up)

i also have been trying to let her eat with me, since shes terrified of food i'm trying to show her that its edible and not to scream at it lol. I'm vegan so she can basically eat all the raw foods i can...i always give her pasta which she devours & i've been giving her oatmeal, but by the end of the meal its so hard to clean up, she throws stuff everywhere.

 

i also have a play stand in my room (which was the top of her cage, but i took it)

 

my grey is a handful!

[danmcq]

First, I want to commend you on being so responsible for your Grey the last 2 years and caring enough about her to reach out for help from Grey owners.

 

If I have followed this properly.....

 

Your Grey is in your room. This means it is not where all the other people action and events take place in the home. The only time the Grey see’s someone, is if and when you are in your room or it can hear activities going on and wish it were at least out there in it’s cage so it could watch and feel like a part of the Flock. This is very important for any Parrot, regardless of species and IF at all possible, explain it to your parents and see if the Cage could be moved out to the most active area in your home. With the busy schedule you have had, your Grey has probably not been let out of her cage for days at a time or if it was, it was probably just for maybe an hour maximum.

 

Greys need a lot of attention, interaction and mental challenges along with plenty of physical activities to keep them happy and in good shape mentally and physically. Your Grey has become the way she is, due to the lack of adequate time that any of these are available.

 

To complicate things even more, she is now in what some call the “Terrible Twos”. She is trying to exercise her own will and has a very strong need at this age to become self sufficient, self confident and learn how to interact at a new level with the flock as a fully functional member entering a different status now. This is how they age in the wild and is “Wired” as a part of their normal maturing process.

 

Without having sufficient interaction during the last 2 years to guide her in the ways flock members interact with each other, whats acceptable, whats not, how to act properly, how biting is not acceptable and results in a way that gets the message across it is not good manners etc. Your challenge is now magnified greatly and it’s going to take a lot of time devoted one on one with your Grey. It would really help if your Mom or dad could become involved more, but I understand that may be out of the question.

 

Your Grey needs at last 3 hours out of cage time and at least 1 hour of one on one time with you. The other two hours while out of her cage, she can stay busy playing with toys, chewing wooden toys, throwing balls around or bashing bells hanging from chains on her play stand etc.

 

Unfortunately, She can only communicate with you now by displaying body language, eyes pinning or biting to indicate she does not want to do something, feels nervous and wants you to move or be aware of a perceived danger.

 

With the attitude you are showing in your posts of committing the time and effort to get her on track and happy as a member of your Flock that you plan on keeping for life. I believe you can do it. I also believe that your completely capable of explaining all this to your parents in a way that they will “Get It” and help by pitching in and hopefully let you move her and the cage out to the “Action” area.

 

There are many threads here on Biting and behavior with tons of help and ideas you can read to assist you in getting through this. Of course, we are all more than happy to answer all the questions you have as well. :-)

[windchimetime]

danmcq wrote:

First, I want to commend you on being so responsible for your Grey the last 2 years and caring enough about her to reach out for help from Grey owners.

 

If I have followed this properly.....

 

Your Grey is in your room. This means it is not where all the other people action and events take place in the home. The only time the Grey see’s someone, is if and when you are in your room or it can hear activities going on and wish it were at least out there in it’s cage so it could watch and feel like a part of the Flock. This is very important for any Parrot, regardless of species and IF at all possible, explain it to your parents and see if the Cage could be moved out to the most active area in your home. With the busy schedule you have had, your Grey has probably not been let out of her cage for days at a time or if it was, it was probably just for maybe an hour maximum.

 

Greys need a lot of attention, interaction and mental challenges along with plenty of physical activities to keep them happy and in good shape mentally and physically. Your Grey has become the way she is, due to the lack of adequate time that any of these are available.

 

To complicate things even more, she is now in what some call the “Terrible Twos”. She is trying to exercise her own will and has a very strong need at this age to become self sufficient, self confident and learn how to interact at a new level with the flock as a fully functional member entering a different status now. This is how they age in the wild and is “Wired” as a part of their normal maturing process.

 

Without having sufficient interaction during the last 2 years to guide her in the ways flock members interact with each other, whats acceptable, whats not, how to act properly, how biting is not acceptable and results in a way that gets the message across it is not good manners etc. Your challenge is now magnified greatly and it’s going to take a lot of time devoted one on one with your Grey. It would really help if your Mom or dad could become involved more, but I understand that may be out of the question.

 

Your Grey needs at last 3 hours out of cage time and at least 1 hour of one on one time with you. The other two hours while out of her cage, she can stay busy playing with toys, chewing wooden toys, throwing balls around or bashing bells hanging from chains on her play stand etc.

 

Unfortunately, She can only communicate with you now by displaying body language, eyes pinning or biting to indicate she does not want to do something, feels nervous and wants you to move or be aware of a perceived danger.

 

With the attitude you are showing in your posts of committing the time and effort to get her on track and happy as a member of your Flock that you plan on keeping for life. I believe you can do it. I also believe that your completely capable of explaining all this to your parents in a way that they will “Get It” and help by pitching in and hopefully let you move her and the cage out to the “Action” area.

 

There are many threads here on Biting and behavior with tons of help and ideas you can read to assist you in getting through this. Of course, we are all more than happy to answer all the questions you have as well. :-)

 

 

no, she is actually in the kitchen, the center of the house, and she talks 24/7...

her play pen is in my bedroom..

and i move her toys around once a month, and last week i took most of them down or put them in the middle of her cage so she cant bang them around for attention, or i put a towel over the cage

 

and my parents wont help me out because theyre busy too & i'm 17 so she is my responsibility...and i'm not going away for college which is good for her, because if i did she would get no interaction whatsoever.

 

i've really tried most of the biting techniques...some work for a while, but then she gets all bi-polar on me and snaps at my fingers...

btw, it took her weeks to get used to my nail polish on me =p thats how afraid she is of new things

[judygram]

""""btw, it took her weeks to get used to my nail polish on me =p thats how afraid she is of new things """

 

Yes they notice the smallest things, I don't usually wear nail polish but one night I did and still had it on the next morning, well when I went to get her out she freaked when she saw my fingers so I had to remove it and then she was ok.

 

No they don't poop every 10 steps to mark their territory, they do poop about every 10 to 15 minutes during the day but hold it all night then let go of a big bomb in the morning.

[windchimetime]

judygram wrote:

""""btw, it took her weeks to get used to my nail polish on me =p thats how afraid she is of new things """

 

Yes they notice the smallest things, I don't usually wear nail polish but one night I did and still had it on the next morning, well when I went to get her out she freaked when she saw my fingers so I had to remove it and then she was ok.

 

No they don't poop every 10 steps to mark their territory, they do poop about every 10 to 15 minutes during the day but hold it all night then let go of a big bomb in the morning.

 

haha lol...everytime i put her down she craps! its so gross, i try to carry paper around in case

 

about the nail polish, i paint them dark colors, so she tries to eat them at pick at them

[judygram]

I'm not so sure she should be eating any of your nail polish, it could be toxic to her if she ingests any.

[windchimetime]

judygram wrote:

I'm not so sure she should be eating any of your nail polish, it could be toxic to her if she ingests any.

 

i dont let her, but she trys...sometimes she just licks my nail, shes so weird haha