casper Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I have a very serious dilemma on my hands which is absolutely breaking my heart. As most of you know, I have three greys. Its not easy sailing believe me. From the day I brought home my baby Jasper my middle grey hated him! My middle grey Keeko is very dominant and posessive over me, he hates the baby coming near me. Charlie the older grey used to accept Jasper but over the last few months he now copies Keeko and is just as nasty. I dont have seperate rooms to put them in and I have tried seperate out time where Keeko still tries to get to Jasper through the cage. In my heart I know that Jasper deserves to have a better life sometimes without being constantly bullied by the other two. The other two have such a close bond its quite scary really, they dont want another bird near them, it has taken a year to realise this and believe me, I dont give up easy I just want whats best for everyone. A close friend of mine has one grey, he is looking to add another one and is interested in Jasper. He has a great home, plenty of time and experience, is willing to put the hard work into introducing two greys and I am torn on what to do. I would only let Jasper go to someone I know with all these qualities, if this person visits and is not interested Jasper will stay I will not give him to a stranger. I am heartbroken at even thinking this way but worry that a serious injury may occur to my birds or even myself. By the way, I am in tears just typing this, it is the last resort and something which just hasnt worked out. I want the best for all my greys and nothing less. Jasper is 14 months old and like my other two I have had him from being a baby. Sorry for such a long post but if anyone can help and support I know it would be my friends on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eckobird Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 AWWWW! Oh my goodness Caroline, I am soooo sorry! I know how much you love all of your birds, I bet this is the hardest thing for you to do. I just can't imagine what your going through right now, it makes me sad for you. Whatever happens its your decision, only you can make. I really wish you the best Caroline, you are a great person with a great heart. I hope things work out ok for you and Jasper.<br><br>Post edited by: caitb2007, at: 2009/07/20 17:18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Thanks Caitlin, it takes a lot to admit when somethings just not working out, especially when you have tried over a period of time. I love all my birds the same which makes this so difficult but i feel I have to look at things long term and do what is right for all concerned. I think having a big heart is what is making this more painful:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Ahh Caroline my heart breaks for you. I know how hard it must be and I admire you for doing what is best for Jasper. I can imagine the scenario you have. It is kind of like if you put 3 kids together then 2 of them will buddy up and pick on the other one. Good luck with rehoming Jasper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Sometimes you love them enough to give them up when you realize it is not working out with the other two you have and they were there first so they have to come before Jasper's welfare. Don't beat yourself up, I know you did the best you could but you cannot help if their personalities clash and that makes it difficult or impossible for you to cope. You are not admitting defeat, you are looking out for Jasper's best interest and of course of Charlie and Keeko, you will find Jasper a new home where he may just flourish and be more at ease and that will be for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Aw Caroline my heart really goes out to you....I agree with Judy, don't beat yourself up over this. You have done everything possible, but it really comes down to their personalities. If they don't mix, then they just don't mix and that is no reflection on you. It is truly a sign of a good pet owner when you make selfless decisions for the well being of the animal, no matter how painful it may be to you. Karma to you for considering the best possible solution for Jasper as well as Keeko and Charlie. My thoughts are with you! :kiss:<br><br>Post edited by: chimaysmommy, at: 2009/07/20 18:31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Caroline Just to let you know something. This is not an unusual situation even tho it's heartbreaking. Sometimes, greys will not get along and one of the decisions is to rehome a bird or relocate the birds in an area where they wonn't go out of their way to annoy or hurt each other but that has to be a large space. If he's only 11 mts, he'll definitely be able to adapt to new surroundings. As a matter of fact even older pre owned birds can adapt. My greys are much older and 2 are adopted and they get along as long as they can stay apart. The key to learning about older pre owned birds is to learn their personalities. With a young bird like Jasper that won't be necessary because of his age. Another good thing is that he won't have to compete for attention. Greys know each other too well. They're all the same. They know each other's methods. basically, they all act the same. You may find that what's going on is extremely unusual since they're all greys but that's not necessarily true. I'm one of the few people here that believe that different species living together have a good chance to co exist with each other because they have diifferent habits and mentalities. i only say all of these things just to let you know that many people go through this. Don't blame yourself in any way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poppy Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Caroline Im in tears reading this .Having visited you and seen your greys I can only imangine what you are going through .My thoughts and prayers are with you and know that you will make the best descion for all of you .I only wish i could be nearer and of some help . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I know how hard this decision was for you and I admire you for putting Jaspers well being first.It is a true act of love.I hope your friend comes on Thursday and gets on with Jasper,It sounds like the ideal solution.Be proud that Jasper, Keeko and Charlie are loved so much. Talk to you later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I know what your going through and it brings back memories of when I had to rehome Mr. Magoo my Cockatoo. he had been a lone bird for 25 years and would have killed every bird I had if given the chance. I loved him so much he was so cuddly and sweet and everything you could want in a companion but he attacked my daughter and the other birds and I had to do what was best for all concerned even though it was the hardest thing I've ever had todo. I think it take a great parront that conciders whats best for the entire flock and not just whats best for them and you are a great parront the love you are showing for Jasper and his well being is the most selfless act I've seen in awhile even though your heart is breaking you are willing to let Jasper go so that he can have a life that is not in constant torment from your other birds that is love the hardest kind of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Firstly, let me thank everyone for their kind words it means so much. Well, after a box of kleenex, a good talk with my husband, I have decided I cant get rid of Jasper. This has got to have been one of the toughest days ever and feels like Ive been on an emotional rollercoaster but I just cant do it. My husband Dave has been great, he pointed out to me about how upset Ive just been today and Jasper is still here. What an earth would I be like without him? I tell you, you just dont realise how much these birds mean to us. I cuddled Jasper earlier and felt so guilty but it seemed my only option. I feel bad about the person who was interested in Jasper, I text and explained, up till now he hasnt been back in touch. I do hope I dont lose a friend over this. I know some wonderful people on here with multiple birds, Dave007 is a man I have always looked up to and always asked advice when I have needed it, Im afraid I might be asking away again Dave. Sometimes we need something like this to happen to answer our own questions. I will be looking for more positive solutions! My husband is building a seperate area for Jasper to hang out, structure on time out of cages will be looked at and certain methods of training as well. So I remain the proud owner of three greys:) Thankyou for being there everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonek Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I am glad to hear that news{Nature-00020095}caroline!!!but my place is wide open for jesper if you change your mind,just let me know :whistle: peace;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joolesgreyuk Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Oh Caroline, you poor thing. I'm so sorry for you but you have thought and talked it through and have reached a conclusion after weighing everything up and I'm sure you feel a little better for it. You seem to have worked out a partial solution to this problem and only time will tell but everyone here knows that you love your birds and only had Jasper's best interests at heart. I hope it works out for you. XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveyj Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Stick at it girl ya know it makes sence X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 *Sniff!* I actually got teared up for you Caroline! Out of happiness!!! What greYt news! Sounds like you have a really good plan of action too...please keep us posted on how things go. If I could give you more karma I would, but I already did a little while ago so I'm getting karma-blocked. Ha ha!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Jesus, what a roller coaster reading this through! :ohmy: I am glad you got it sorted out, hubby stepped up with a little different perspective and solution to the dilemma. I am so happy to hear it is going to be a win-win-win-win-win all the way around. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I just found this post Caroline, and am so glad you and your husband have found a solution that works well for all your greys. What a great guy you have there. Hey, of course, he's great because every great woman deserves and equal! I'm very happy for you!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Caroline this is the best news, I know how hard it was for you to make the decision to rehome Jasper but I am estatic to hear you are working on a solution to be able to keep him, I know you love him deeply. Your Dave deserves a pat on the back for his ideas on how to make this work and I hope it all comes together soon and I know Dave007 will be glad to help you with any issues you may have, he has helped you before and he will again, all you have to do is ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyric Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Caroline, my heart goes out to you in this tough time. I have a bit of the same issue with my two timnehs- they don't get along outside of their cages and I can only have one bird out at a time. It's been hard learning to juggle free time between them, but it's possible. I just do the best I can, that's all I can do. I know you will do the best you can too, and everything will work out okay in the end. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I am so happy you have come to this decision,your Dave sounds like a good fella.I just want to say that I know you have gone through hell and back but you know you have the help and support of us all hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidH Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Good luck, Caroline. It's obviously a hard decision with no easy answer. Good thing the forum is here for all of us to celebrate the joys and work out the challenges of living with Greys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janfromboone Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Caroline, I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I'm sure there is a happy ending in the works no matter what you decide. Things happen for a reason. Sounds like you have decided to keep Jasper. I'm sure there are ways to work this out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 oh Caroline that is just the best news I know how tough it can be with the birds not getting along I'm having to deal with some of the same issues with Adaya and my Amazon. I hate having to juggle out of cage time between the 2 of them but that's the way it is for now. I think its great that you and your husband have worked out a solution that is such good news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 So glad you decided to keep Jasper. Another source that could help you is the world parrot trust. I went to them when we got our 2nd grey as I wanted advice on putting them together and they were so helpful and had heaps of advice for me which worked. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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