She hates me!

[KiwiandSally]

I am new here and wanted to just ask a few questions to all the pro's. My husband and I were asked to take a CAG because the family could no longer take care of her. Long story short she hates me. I have had several parrots but never a CAG, going into this knowing though that they are a little tempermental. She is about 8 yrs old I believe and we are her 3rd home sadly. She loves my husband and cuddles with him, loves him, and talks to him all right away. But I am another story and cannot get near her without getting bit or yelled at. My question really is there any hope for me or should I stop trying. I don't want to stress her out and hope that we will be her last home and she will live happily.

 

Please lend some advice, I am more concerned about her then me!<br><br>Post edited by: KiwiandSally, at: 2009/07/17 19:03

[judygram]

Sadly greys do tend to pick favorites but how long have you had this grey?

[KiwiandSally]

We have only had her one week and I do know that it takes time and 1 week isn't enough. I guess I just worry that if I continue to try she will become stressed out and I want to avoid that. She also didn't have much physical attention at least in the last couple of years and she is older. Do you think maybe time is just needed. Even if I cannot interact with her I will still love her from a distance.

[judygram]

One week is not long enough you need to give her more time, she probably will never feel for you like she does your husband but you can still have a good relationship.

 

Others will chip in with their ideas and suggestions.

[bonek]

like judy say give more time to her and never give up,I believe the time will coming,like my bonek take time around 3 months be for he bond to me!!!Good luck{Feel-good-000200BB}

[djzenjen]

Give the grey plenty of time to get used to you. She may turn around eventually, but on the other hand, she may not. My father has a 16 (ish) year old CAG (Shadow) that he's had since a baby. Shadow will not allow any females to even get near her. His wife has been nice to that bird for 10+ years, cleaning the cage, feeding it, and etc. That bird just doesn't like, and probably will never like, females. My father can do anything and everything to her, and other males can have her step up onto them. Some birds just bond so well with one owner, and they don't want anything to do with anyone else.

 

But don't let this discourage you! Continue to work really hard with your new baby and good luck!

[DavidH]

Sally,

 

She doesn't hate you. She justs gets nervous when you invade her personal space. You say, "Even if I cannot interact with her I will still love her from a distance." She will love you from a distance too.

[lovethatgrey]

First and foremost, she doesn't hate you.

 

She just isn't as comfortable with you as she is with your husband. I think you that for now you might want to just respect her wishes for no direct handling/contact. You can be her pal from a distance by singing to her or just being in the same room as her while going about your own business. As you mentioned, you are her 3rd home and she is 8 years old, therefore it will be a challenge because you don't know what she may have experienced in the past.

 

{Feel-good-00020114}For now I would just respect her comfort zone and allow her to "observe" that you aren't dangerous or scary. Speak calmly and gently when you are around her and don't make any abrupt sudden movements. I know it's disappointing but she needs alot of time and stability. She may never be as cuddly with you as she is with your husband, but I am confident that in time she can learn to trust and be comfortable around you. It is wonderful that you both chose to give her a home.