trancework

Again, to all concerned, I joined this forum to talk about birds and have a little bit of fun. My intent in anything that could be perceived as a "challenge" was to acknowledge what I've observed as a pattern of alienating users, to which I'd personally borne the brunt on a notable occasion. I spend my time doing things that I find enjoyable, I spend it by choice. Given what I've seen as a "shoot from the hip, edit later to make 'more respectful or socially acceptable'" pattern by some of the senior members especially to new members, I called it out. I think it's best that I leave, that's my choice. Whether it was intentional or not, a personal line of mine was crossed by a senior member, and I've decided to walk. The grey world's none the worse for it, and I wish everyone the best.

To anyone who may be interested or concerned. The term "tranny" is widely know to be a homophobic epithet. A senior member has used it several times in this thread to address myself. As a personal rule, I will not abide hate speech, be it based on nationality, race, sexual orientation, or any other criteria. I do not believe I've ever needed anyone to "stand up for me" nor have I the sense of a "position" other than expecting and upholding the standards of respectful engagement. I feel that that is not a value shared here, and thus I take leave. I wish you and your birds all well.

Quite frankly, I'm surprised you chose to take what I wrote that way, Jay. To each is own.

I know for a fact that the responses in this thread have probably driven someone away from this forum, permanently. I think that's a shame and believe that we, as a community, would benefit from examining what's happend here. 1. A member heard some information from someone at a local bird club. [Was the infomation accurate? Probably not, who knows? Was the infomation delivered for a nefarious purpose? Likely not...] 2. That member shared the information here... 3. Other forum members consumed that information and replied. I can see those replies as falling into three categories: 1. Useful things you can try to do with your bird that may or may not hinge on the validity of the information. 2. Advocacy on the bird's behalf backed by subjective reference to other of the user's posts and threads. 3. Third-party support of members other than the original poster who replied. I see a lot of value in replies that fall into category 1. Those of categories 2 and 3, not so much. I am perphaps biased, as I view my reply falling into the first cagegory. I read the situation as "Ok, you have some info, here are some things you might try and see how they work, making adjustments along the way..." Then there were other replies, that I belive were well intended, but just sounded harsh. I personally saw the "original" version of some of the replies as caustic and counterproductive and I know that that is how they were perceived by the original poster. I find it bothersome that posts on this board are open to editing so long after they've been written. This enables people to shoot from the hip, regardess of how those words will be taken, what hurt they will cause, and to respond without due for their impact--knowing that they can be "taken back", "amended", or "redacted" to suit how the poster wants to be perceived after their sting has sunk and the damage has been done. If something's posted, then STAND BY YOUR WORDS, warts and all, and if you didn't mean to say something MAKE ANOTHER POST perhaps along the lines of, "Sorry for my comments in Post #701, it wasn't what I meant to say and rereading them, I can see how I came across as a total ass. Here's what I would really like to say..." This is a basic case of "think before you speak" and "treat others as you'd like to be treated", etc. Coming back after the fact and making things said "disappear into the memory hole" just wreaks of bad mojo. The case of people supporting members who make statements that can be perceived as caustic, can come across as something of a pile-on. This too is bad mojo, and I'm speaking from first-hand experience as the recipient of such treatment. I had a thread go bad when I posted about intentionally letting Ollie test the limits and using that as a chance to give feedback. Following the effects of that thread, taken as "oh not this shit, again", several members contacted me with statementst to the effect of "Wow, that was harsh, I'm glad you stayed, it's happened here before with bad results." Personally, I don't care, I have an ultra high-stress job at which I'm truly exceptional and live a pretty good life. Any greif that would come my way for posting my heart-felt thoughts with WORDS I STAND BY on a Parrot forum--not even on par with the average hang-nail. I have means, if I "needed" it, I can go to my regular avain vet, a nearby emergency vet, in a really tight pinch the nearby parrot rescue 24x7. For less dramatic events, I could pay to have an avian behaviorist visit, etc, etc, etc. I am a benefactor of said awesome local rescue, and I am a member of an UTTERLY AMAZING local bird club. Maybe some others aren't in that situation and this forum could be one of the main resources at their disposal. It'd be a shame for them to tune it out because of something someone said here in... I participate on grey forums out of an interest in birds, not egoes, and if someone wants to ban me for these remarks or any other reason, I have plenty of things to do with my time. But, like many here, I find it rewarding to offer help and insight because I care about greys, and am constantly learning and making my birds' lives better, just as I've been doing since I was 5 years old with my budgie Tippy. I hear many of the "there's so much lived experience" statements on this board, and have no doubt as to their validity and knowing what that entails, see this as establishing many of the members on this board with a certain degree of authority on the subject of grey parrots and their health, enrichment and upkeep. And that's great. In business, I've watched several firsthand trainwrecks as brilliant folks who are authorities in their fields have been blindsided by either an underappreciation or inability to exercise actual influence. Essentially, if you do not connect with someone, they'll never get your message. The worst case is when the lack of influence by virtue of "I am the authority, you must listen to me" drives the recipient of that message away because she or he feels diserspected or invalidated, and that, I fear, is what's transpired in the few posts in reply to a young lady, sharing with the grey community in what she saw as a safe and nurturing space, the comments that someone made when she reached out to another community to try and connect with caring people who want nothing more than to share experience that may help her make life better for HER bird, Irwin. And with regard to the comment "is your bird a test subject"--we're all test subjects in this grand experiment to find meaning on a rock circling the universe pulled toward a giant ball of nuclear fire. I'VE CHOOSE TO DO SO WITH A GREY PARROT ON MY SHOULDER AND I BELIEVE I'M NOT ALONE.

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[/i]LOG ENTRY: SOL 61 How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense. [/i]

Thank you for posting that! I'd never heard of them before seeing them in the "How to Kill Your Birds Without Trying" Safety Guide. http://www.berkscountybirdclub.com/index_files/How%20to%20Kill%20Your%20Birds%20Without%20Trying.pdf

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Thanks, feel free to... There's tons of links on this page alone, and an entire internet for available for your amazement.

And, no, I do not corporally punish my bird.

OK.... I think I see the disconnect here. MY HAND IS NOT MOVING WHEN I TOUCH THE BIRD. There's a difference between my hand reaching you quickly -- AND BEING STOPPED at the point of contact. And my hand still being in motion. When I touch my bird--My hand is NO LONGER MOVING.

So by insinuation, you're passively aggressively asserting that I hit my bird. Gotcha. Facepalm.

Agreed... he's not particularly comfortable with fast-moving strangers, nor do I let anyone "touch" him who he doesn't know. In the wild, these guys are literally surrounded by hundreds of incredibly close, fast moving things--the wings of other birds. I imagine, in the flap, they tend to get bumped a bit or at least crowded.... Everything comes down to circumstance, experience, and context. Basically, if something seems to spook your bird--don't do it.

Thanks ! He doesn't normally sleep there. That was a result of him continually choosing not to go to bed. "Want to go to bed?" And I'd put him into the cage by a perch and he'd stay on my hand. I'd go back to doing what I was doing with him on my shoulder. He'd fall asleep--again. Kind of like letting a kid stay up as late has he/she wants . Now he's ready for bed as soon as he starts drowsing. Yesterday, though, with a bee pollen and fresh-fruit sugar rush, I thought he was never going to come down.

Jayd, if you're going to say something--back it up. What I'm talking about is a variation on the "peek-a-boo" game. There's PLENTY of room. The bird's CHOOSING to do it, and he's wander off if he doesn't want to In the former, he's not spooked by a towel. In the latter he's not spooked by my hands. I have never in my life "hit" a bird, even accidentally. So I'm describing my own personal experience--but it's actual experience. Which will likely vary from yours or that of anyone else. I've had the same vet for the past decade and change and we've also boarded there. When I'd come to pick Smokey up, he'd hear my voice and begin communicating with me. He used to do that one the phone--hear my voice and begin contact calling to where Kerri'd put it on speaker. Smokey was a rescue from a bad circumstance. You would never have known it, he was a snuggly bird. Here's Ollie from yesterday, and he's pretty darn confident, comfortable, and secure around my hands... Again, this is my actual experience.

Ears!!!! [ATTACH]23749[/ATTACH] I've been a member of the Bite-Me club most of my life. This one is pretty useful--I caution anyone else against trying my methods--I'm a trained idiot with A LOT of experience. A bit about my background, I race superbikes as a hobby. Translation: I regularly CRASH superbikes and when I do, I use training that enables me to relax my entire body on command to minimize pain and injury. When you're bouncing down the asphalt at 80 mph with a 450 lb motorcycle behind you, best thing you can do is go to your happy place, zen out and let whatever happens happen. I've shouldered birds successfully for 20+ years. I use my left shoulder--I'm blind in my left eye, which makes it even weirder as I cannot actually see the bird. It's all kind of a tuned-in thing--I can read the bird by foot position, pressure, and even heat--my avatar is Ollie perched on one foot on my collar bone dead asleep. This wasn't an actual bite. It began as exploratory nibbles, and escalated because I believe Ollie was trying to hook me up with some sweet allopreening. Based on how it felt in his mouth, the case was ready to come off of that ear-feather! When he did it, I relaxed... It was kind of a rush, really. Let my shoulder drop a bit then I arced my right hand over and around his top beak and opened the hook a bit and got him off the ear--nothing said. Ok, done--Right? Uh, not so fast. Blood was drawn... and I think the appearance of this shiny red stuff made it even more interesting and enticing. Ollie was on a mission to finish preening that darn ear! Each time I put him back up, it was a trip to get back to that incredibly interesting task! And casually, I'd repeat my response. This went on for a while until my ears were irresistible. And I'd shoulder-grounded him. Awesome! Now, the stage was set for some bird learning!!! I've been working with Ollie on optional and immediate commands. The vast majority of the commands I give are optional, I use infinitive verbs and cued with "to", e.g. "Would you like to step up?" or "Would you like to try some fruit?" I've been peppering in training on imperative commands. These are cued with "Now"or some other sharp words [more later]. "Step up, Now" -- these are for cases where he doesn't have a choice. He's been doing very well with these, amazingly well, really. No shoulder for a few days--to let the swelling go down on my ear, and let him know he doesn't own the shoulder, he has to be welcomed. I also began "low-holding" him, so that were he on my finger, he'd be hip-level, rather than chest or above. When I again welcomed him back to my shoulder, any engagement with the ear was met with a shocking "HUUUUPPPTTT" and a tensing of the shoulder with a tensing of my neck and a shake of the ear accompanied by [and DO NOT TRY THIS--SERIOUSLY] a very fast hand motion to the beak for separation resulting in a contact near the limit of comfort, as I judge it. NOTE: Since I've had Ollie, I've been "fast hand motion" training him such that I can VERY QUICKLY swipe my hand open or closed incredibly close to him, even touching him but it's all within the boundary of trust. So it's not anywhere near a hit, but if you saw it you'd be like--WTH did you just do?!?!? The "HUUUPPPTT" is LOUD. Kerri was walking past once when he did it and I had to react THEN to reenforce the message. She was like "OW, that hurt my ears!" I was like "Sorry, had to do it immediately..." Followed by an imperative, "Step down, NOW"--Shoulder privileges revoked. And we move on to something else. It took about two days and he's back to full shoulder privileges. And, counter-intuitively, he seems like a different much improved bird from the middle of last week. His play has been a lot more independent he seems TONS more confident, and our relationship stronger. I belive it's because he's found my limit, and he know's I'll assert swiftly and with measured response, and be cool with everything afterward--a fair trade for a few cuts to the lobe! Respect, bird!

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