Hello! I’m pretty new to the forums and have only owned my TAG Skippy for just under 2 months but I have a bit of other bird experience so ill give this a shot and answer the questions that I can
First of all, most bird bites hurt! The idea is to watch for the warning signs and not get bite, but if it comes down to it be deliberate, calm and steady and don’t pull away as I’m sure you’ve already read. Most birds don’t want to hurt you and will give you plenty of warning before a full blown bite occurs. Even if they wrap there little beaks around your hand/finger, that isn’t necessarily a bite and you shouldn’t be afraid of that. Keep in mind that they use their mouths like hands so a hint of grabbing you with the beak might not be a bite at all. Watch for signs such as clicking, growling, tight feathers, or anything that appears aggressive. You will know a warning sign when you see it. Don’t be discouraged if you do see them. Simply walk away for a few minutes and try again.
My TAG Skippy was 5 years old when I got him and I exposed him to the entire family including my 9 year old son almost immediately. We all started with "cage time" talking with Skippy and letting him learn our voices but since I was going to be the main care giver nobody else in the family really held him for a couple weeks except me until he became 100% comfortable with his new environment. Skippy came to me from a home that the owners mostly just let him have run of the house 24/7 with not very much handling so that with his age made for a bit more challenging acclimatization period then most who purchase birds as babies. IF it were me and a new born baby I would for sure try my best to expose my bird to as many new people and faces I could asap.
Skippy is gets about 3-4 hours a day so far out of his cage and in that time is handled by me or other people about 1-2 hours of that time. The rest of the time he spends in his play area or on boings with his bird buddy Kiwi, my other Indian Ring neck parrot. As for my 9 year old son he handles him whenever he wants as long as I’m in the room. That’s pretty much the only guideline I have and I always encourage my son to talk to Skippy and give him his "cookies".
I am a new TAG/African Grey owner myself so I don’t have the most experience with them as most others on this forum but I really believe with a combination of the right bird, some quality time and effort your entire family will be blessed to share a house with a grey. They make tremendous pets and really do become part of the family.
Best of luck Hope that info was even just a bit helpful.
Steve