Saoirse

First off, I would like to thank everyone for their answers.. Second, there's a lot of good suggestions to think about and definitely try - we're desperate to try to help our baby through the stress of the situation. To the poster who suggested getting our Grey together with the uncle (I'm terribly sorry for not remembering your SN..), We've tried it before.. And it's amazing how when the Grey offers attention to his uncle, uncle refuses to have anything to do with him.. Tells hubby to get the bird away from him.. But when he passes by our door he has to taunt the bird with his whistles and yells.. He's not the most stable of minds, and I think that's part of the problem. We've decided to cut off all contact with Uncle, as we know that when we're not living with them this issue is non-existent. We sat down with uncle, dad and aunt and explained AGAIN what they should and shouldn't be doing.. We'll see how long it lasts. We also plan on loving the Grey up as much as possible (if it's possible to offer the little guy even MORE love....) And we'll see how it goes. Again, I really do appreciate each and every answer given, even if I haven't acknowledged each post. Thanks again. Saoirse

We realize the severity of the issue, which is why I turned to a forum full of experts and bird lovers for help. How do you ween a bird away from a loved one? I find it sadly amusing that as awful as our uncle really is to the bird, Luna can love him so much... It's terrible. How can we start to solve this with little to no added stress to our Grey? We're going to have ANOTHER major discussion with the family tonight, because ALL of them need to understand that it doesn't matter how THEY feel about it, the fact remains something needs to change, and him taunting our Grey is what needs to change, and NOW. But, should we start by not allowing the bird to see his uncle at all? Completely keep them apart, or would that just cause more stress and more screaming? Is there a good way to go about this?

We have repeatedly told him to stay away from our room and to stop whistling at the bird.. But the man refuses to accept or believe the fact that he's a major problem in this issue.. And unfortunately, even when he's not deliberately taunting the bird, he's very loud with his 'bodily noises': He clears his throat excessively loud, coughs louder than needed, blows his nose loudly, bangs on things, talks to himself as he walks around the house, etc. The bird knows it's him, even though there's 4 other people in the house. It's hard to change a person's behavior, especially one as ignorant and self-centered as this one. trust me, we HATE giving the bird the time out because we know it's not fair, we know it's not his fault.. But it's the ONLY thing that quiets him down. Thankfully the 3 of them are gone during the day to get their ritual cup of coffee at Panera's, so we let the bird have free roam of the house (supervised), but... When he can't see his uncle, even when he's not home, he still screams for him or he'll fall with style (wings clipped) to the ground and toddle toward his bedroom. When we don't live with our family, he's a much more stable bird, but still refuses to talk or eat anything actually good for him aside from his Harrison's. And Marcus, HIS name is Luna... Yea, hubby thought he was a girl when he got him. haha And yes, hubby sings to him ALL THE TIME ha! they whistle back and forth and they talk and hubby 'grooms' him. He has several play songs they like, and he gets a lullaby and night and a song to wake up in the morning. This bird is my hubby's life.. It's his son, and no one else comes first, not even me, lol. So, believe me when I say, the stress Luna is going through is destroying hubby, he can't stand to see him like this, and we both feel so helpless because the only obvious solution is to move, and financially, we just can't yet.

I hope this is the right area of the forum, if it's not, I apologize. My husband and I are the proud parents of a soon to be 11 year old Timneh African Grey. Unfortunately, however, we live with my husband's family: Dad, Aunt and Uncle - all brother and sister related. Our Grey has an intense infatuation with my husband's uncle, who (of course) HATES the Grey. Our Grey always wants to be around him, and when we do put him out on his living room perch, hubby's uncle completely ignores him and taunts him with whistles and words, but refuses to otherwise acknowledge him. We've attempted to not allow the Grey to be around him at all, as the torment drives him crazy - but when we keep him in our room, he screams out with shrill, VERY loud yells and ear-piercing screams. To make matters worse, the uncle likes to stand outside our door and whistle to the bird OR yell at him for making so much noise, which only spurs the Grey to make MORE noise. We know it's terrible to cover him up, but nothing else quiets the screaming. We've attempted ignoring him when he screams and shower him with praise and attention when he sings/talks or is quiet - which doesn't work. We've left the room during his screaming fits, which doesn't really do anything negative or positive in regards to the behavior. We know (We think we know) for the most part that our uncle is the main issue, but when we tell him how much the bird is infatuated with him, he likes to remark that "Birds are stupid, he doesn't have enough brains to be attached to anyone, he's not a dog...He can't think." Which we know is absolutely absurd! Our Grey might not be a talker, he might not like to play with bird-safe toys (He'd rather have a vitamin pill than any form of veggie or bird toy) but we know ANY bird is far from mindless! The Grey is odd in some of those terms, he only says a couple things, though we know he knows more - he refuses to really speak. He doesn't play with any of his toys, though if you change his baby favorites for newer ones, he hates it - creature of habit. He hates fruits and vegetables, refusing to eat them to the point where when you put them in his cage he tosses them out. He gets a ton of interaction from my husband (it's his bird, really.. Not mine. Though I'm proud to say I'm his mommy.), I spend time with him as well, and he's infatuated with our fish and our cat - both of which are terrified of him. He does whistle songs that he knows and on occasion will let out a "whatcha doin?". We know his cage is a little bit on the small size - we had a bigger one but had to downsize when we moved, though we're saving for a bigger one.. Though honestly, he spends more time out of it than in it - except for when he's in his screaming mode. Though he won't eat his veggies, we feed him Harrison's organic life-time coarse and mix it with a little bit of the pepper-coarse because he likes the spice. He gets a couple organic sunflower seeds a day, and he'd die without his daily half-peanut. We add an all natural/homeopathic stress-reducer to his water, which takes the edge off his stress, but not entirely so. We're so stressed ourselves because we don't know what to do for him. It seems his favorite behavior at the moment is to hang from the top of his cage and twitch back and forth while screaming and calling for his uncle.. We really just don't know what to do and it's so depressing seeing him in such a state. What can we do that's best for him? Moving out isn't an option right now, we hope to be out within a year. Thanks in advance, and I'm happy to add any additional details or info if needed! Saoirse