vanessak

Thank you Judygram for your insight and comments. I do see the larger spiritual perspective on what occurs in my life and I will look to Chester as my guru- teaching me unconditional love, patience and compassion. He is there to show me where I want to control and to teach me greater self-acceptance and emotional balance in the face of rejection. I am hopeful and feel lighter about the situation. Vanessa

Thank you so much everyone! Does anyone know about how long the sexual maturity phase lasts and about when does it start/ stop approximately? Chester will be 9 in May. I liken it to when you have a child and they worship the ground you walk on, and then when they become a teenager, they can't stand being in the same room. I don't have kids but Chester is probably like a teenager now and my lesson is to not take things so personally and not feed into it by eventually getting exasperated with him. It certainly will be good practice if I have kids. I just want to know if this is normal and how do other people put up with the behavior? Basically, how do you deal with the rejection that never used to be there, and/ or the irritation of the frequent chirping and distress that he is expressing? I guess this is stretching my patience. Vanessa

How long does the sexual maturity phase last and about when does it start/ stop approximately? Chester will be 9 in May. I liken it to when you have a child and they worship the ground you walk on, and then when they become a teenager, they can't stand being in the same room. I don't have kids but Chester is probably like a teenager now and my lesson is to not take things so personally and not feed into it. It will be good practice if I have kids. I just want to know if this is normal and how do other people put up with the behavior? Vanessa

Thank you for your responses. He has become smitten with my stepson. He has lived with us for years but Chester fell in love with him probably around the time when this whole thing started, and as soon as he walks in the door, Chester starts shouting out his name. I tell Anthony to spend time with him and he will here and there, but he is caught up with his friends and school and not always around. He will eventually eat, but he doesn't eat as immediately as he used to. In the morning when he is flapping and chirping, I assume that he is hungry, but when I put his food down, he will ignore it and keep flapping and hunching over with his wings out to the side. I have taken him to the vet, and he checks out fine. His wings have always been clipped but they are a little longer at the moment- but no longer then they have been in the past. Sometimes I wonder if I should let his wings grow out so that he can fly off his cage if that is what he wants to do. His cage is always open but rarely he has gone on a 'walkabout'. I figure he could always get down from there if he truly wanted to. I have to keep going back to the feeling that he knows how it gets to me and is looking for a reaction, and/or just wants to always be around Anthony. It is just extremely frustrating and disappointing and is probably my lesson not to take it so personal. He doesn't bite me or anything, and at night when he wants to go to bed, he is cuddly and I have my old bird back. Has he just become an attention hog? That would be easier to believe if he actually wanted my attention when I pick him up. Vanessa

Thank you Abdullah for taking the time to respond. I am just going to have to do my best to ignore him and we will see what happens. I am just disappointed because our relationship was far more predictable and I feel that I can't make him happy. But maybe that is my lesson, letting go and not trying so hard. I know that he is very smart and I believe that he can sense how I feel.

Also, it is more like he is hunching down with his wings out to his side shaking them and keeps doing that straight while he chirps every couple of seconds.

I thought he wanted attention but when I pick him up he continues to do it. Plus he does it for a long time and will avoid his food- even favorite foods. Eventually he will eat but he just seems so upset.

Hello, My name is Vanessa and I am extremely frustrated with my 81/2 year old grey Chester. He was content and fine up until a year ago. Now he stands on his cage and chirps and flaps his wings as if he wants something, but nothing I do makes him happy. First I think he is hungry so I feed him. But then he keeps flapping and doesn't touch his food. So I will pick him up because I think he doesn't want to be on his cage, but then he acts like he is afraid of me and doesn't want to be with me either. He was never like this before. We haven't moved and there has been no other changes. I don't know what to do to console him and wonder if he knows how much it gets under my skin and that is why he keeps doing it. I will try to ignore him but it goes on for hours. I take him to work with me (he has a perch there) and he is fine for awhile, but then wants to go home. And when he is home, he wants to leave. The only one he is really content with now is my 19 year old stepson. But at night Chester can be very loving to me and likes to be petted. Then it starts all over again in the morning. There is nothing physically wrong with him. I never thought that I would start disliking my bird but it is wearing on me emotionally. I have heard that they can 'turn' on you when they get to be a certain age, but it is like nothing I can do will make him happy. My husband tells me to forget about it, that he is just a bird, but I don't believe that. Help! Has anyone experienced this? Vanessa from Fort Lauderdale

Hello, My name is Vanessa and I am extremely frustrated with my 81/2 year old grey Chester. He was content and fine up until a year ago. Now he stands on his cage and chirps and flaps his wings as if he wants something, but nothing I do makes him happy. First I think he is hungry so I feed him. But then he keeps flapping and doesn't touch his food. So I will pick him up because I think he doesn't want to be on his cage, but then he acts like he is afraid of me and doesn't want to be with me either. He was never like this before. We haven't moved and there has been no other changes. I don't know what to do to console him and wonder if he knows how much it gets undre my skin and that is why he keeps doing it. I will try to ignore him but it goes on for hours. I take him to work with me (he has a perch there) and he is fine for awhile, but then wants to go home. And when he is home, he wants to leave. The only one he is really content with now is my 19 year old stepson. But at night Chester can be very loving to me and likes to be petted. Then it starts all over again in the morning. There is nothing physically wrong with him. I never thought that I would start disliking my bird but it is wearing on me emotionally. I have heard that they can 'turn' on you when they get to be a certain age, but it is like nothing I can do will make him happy. My husband tells me to forget about it, that he is just a bird, but I don't believe that. Help! Has anyone experienced this? Vanessa from Fort Lauderdale