SandraD

Hi. I have never posted here before, but feel the need to leave a memorial for Sam, my grey of 10 years, who died unexpectedely this past week. My husband and I are currently living separately due to jobs. We had to move my husband to another place temporarily until we figured out our situation. Both my grey and our green-cheeked amazon were living with him due to my cramped living conditions in the city. I know parrots, particularly greys, stress out with moves, but I have moved with Sam at least a half dozen times and he's always fine. A few days after the move is when he passed with no signs of illness or even stress. I have lost many people in my life, but I have never felt grief like this. It feels like I can't breathe. I am overwhelmed with guilt- I feel like he died broken-hearted because I, the one he had bonded to, was not there and hadn't been living with him for months. I miss him so much. I miss his continual montage of words, his whistles, and yes, even his smoke alarm sounds. I miss finding his chew marks on everything- every book I own, my purses, my wicker laundry basket. I miss watching Sam, a fully flighted bird, clumsily waddlle across our carpeted floor. As anyone that has lost a parrot knows, it is difficult to get people to understand why you are so grief-stricken over a silly bird. These birds are a source of such tremendous, joy, love, and amusement. Sam would always be fidgety when sitting on my shoulder- chewing on buttons, trying to see what's in my mouth, etc. But the minute he knew I was sad, or crying, he would stop and just calmly place his head under my chin. You will never have a bond like the one that you acquire with these absolutely wonderful creatures. At this point, I feel like I'm just rambling but I also just wanted to hear from others- others that have lost their greys to see how you coped. Although I've always known how special he was to me, and how much I love him, I still had no idea that our parting would be so painful. Is this normal? I feel like I could cry for eternity.... Thanks for listening. Sandra