Rajah

Hey guys thanks for the quick replies. Just to clarify on the timeline. We had her for 10 months or so, then left for 8 months. She is approximately 1 and 1/2 years old. It seems like you all agree with my own personal conclusion - give her space and time to learn to trust me again, don't pressure her. I think my biggest fear is if the bond is gone forever, or if it will be someone else that is lucky to receive it. I know her welbeing and happiness isn't a concern as I would do anything for her, I just really, REALLY miss being her hero. I know it sounds cheesy. hehe

Also wanted to mention - she seems perfectly okay with being relocated back to her original location after 8 months. She talks, she plays, eats and drinks, but she just wont have anything to do with me.

Hello guys and gals. As the topic says, I need some advice. Here is the full story - I will try to only include relevant information. My wife and I bought our african grey when she was a baby, and we went to the store every single day to play with her, and get her used to us until she was of the age we could take her home. Every time we went there, she would charge the door of her nursery pen just to meet me. You could tell she was in love with us already. After taking her home and buying her a suitable cage (thing is huge!), we noticed that she bonded with me, and not my wife. We trained her well with all of the basics we were told to do upon taking her home. She even said "step up" before I did when I put my finger out! I was able to shower with her every day, and she was well disciplined and a very happy bird. A year later my wife decided that she wanted to move to australia for a year due to extreme boredom and being generally unhappy with where we were living. I didn't want to go, at least, not if it meant upsetting Luna (my grey). I looked into ways of having her sent over to Australia, but unfortunately, Greys are banned from there and the ride over would be borderline animal cruelty in my opinion. So, not an option. I told my wife I didn't want to go, and she didn't understand. I tried to explain to her how strong the bond was between Luna and myself, and I was her best friend and I wasn't willing to jeopardize that. My wife accepted that answer, but after a few days, got upset and persisted that we go to Australia on a 1 year working visa. I was pretty torn and upset.. I called the place that gave us the grey to ask for an opinion and advice. The guy there explained this. "She will be upset for a few weeks after you go, and when you return she will be royally pissed off at you. You're basically leaving her and not sending any post cards, metaphorically speaking. But give her 3-4 weeks and she will be back to normal." With this information, I reluctantly decided to go to Australia. We came home last week, 4 months earlier than planned, because I missed Luna way too much, and my cat, and my normal life. As expected, Luna wanted nothing to do with me. We left her in the care of my step-father and mother, whom against my wishes, spoiled her rotten. She basically went from being a well disciplined grey who knew who was the boss, to a dominant bird who got her way whenever she wanted it. I was devastated. I still am. She runs away from me, flaps her wings to get away from me, bites me if I try to step up.. the only time she wants to step up is when it's convenient for her. We moved her cage back to its original location and completely away from step father/mom. We called the guy up from the store and he re-explained why shes mad. He said we had to start over. What I did was a big mistake. I can't believe how upset she is with me, I didnt expect her to be this upset. From time to time, she will come over to me and want head scratches, and cheek scratches.. or an almond, but only when it suits her. Any other time she is doing her best to distance herself from me. I can't explain how upset I am - I am literally sick to my stomach about all of this. I don't know how to treat her or get out relationship back. The guy at the store said to manage her attitude the best I can. I am not sure what this means. I need help. I know this is my fault, and the only hope I have is that what he said before I left is true, is that after 3-4 weeks, she will re-bond with me. But how do I know she even remembers who I am? How do I know she will come to love me again? You can sit here and call me a bad owner because I technically abandoned her, but at the same time the decision was made with the belief that she will forgive me in time. So, please, any advice would be amazing. Do I give her space for a few days? Do I cater to her needs and essentially leave the training alone, or should I re-do all the steps I learned, redo all the step ups, being stern and making her remember who is boss? Thanks for your help.