neoow

I'm having some troubles with Alfie in that he doesn't seem to tolerate me any more... let alone like me. Alfie has been with me for his whole life- since he was 11 weeks old. I have always been his primary caregiver. He is going to be 17 years old this year. I'll be the first person to admit I haven't always been the best owner I could be over the years. I got Alfie when I was 17 years old and thought I had life all figured out (as you do at that age). Well, life happened and I wasn't always as present as I should be for Alfie and he didn't get all the attention he deserved. Since joining these forums I have been trying to correct that and Alfie get a lot more attention and time out of his cage than he probably ever has these days. The problem is... he doesn't seem to like me anymore. Now I'm well aware that greys will have their 'favourite' person and that this can shift and change. I've got no problem with that. At the moment his favourite person is my housemate, who has very little to do with him but is able to give him the odd head scratch and treat. This is fine and I have no problem with that. I like that they have become friends over the years as my housemate never used to like Aflie (or the noise he made). Last year there was a bit of upheaval as I was redecorating the rest of the house so the cats had to live in the same space as Alfie for a few weeks, which meant he has less out of cage time. There was a lot of noise and people coming and going because I was having flooring fitted and family came round to help decorate the other rooms. Alfie's room/space hasn't been changed- other than having to live with the cats for a few weeks. I also had a biiig hair cut and now have shorter hair. He took a dislike to me after all that and would fly to the back of my head and bite it a few times. We got past that but it's never been the same between us. He stopped letting me scratch his head- either through the bars or when he was out of his cage. He stopped putting his head down for scratches and it got less and less as time went on. I can't just walk up to Alfie and start scratching his head as that is a sure fire way of getting bitten- you have to wait for him to offer his head/neck to you. He doesn't do that at all anymore- even when it's time for him to go to sleep. I can't remember the last time he asked for scritches from me. He will ask my housemate, but never me. When he is out of his cage he comes out and pretty much does his own thing. He plays with his toys and throws things around and flies to whatever perch/surface takes his fancy. He no longer wishes to fly to me, either of his own accord or when asked. I know I shouldn't apply human emotions to his behaviours but I'm feeling pretty run down from work and being a bit poorly over the last few weeks so I keep finding myself getting quite emotional about this. I'm trying to remain cheerful in front of Alfie but it's now progressed to the point where I can't even give him a treat. I always try and reward him with a tasty treat like a walnut or banana chip when he goes into his cage nicely... but now he sees this as an opportunity to lunge at my hand rather than take the treat. Now I'm finding that I'm really nervous around him (I know, I know, he'll pick up on that!!) and I'm really wary of him lunging at me or trying to bite me. Is there anything I can do to try and repair this relationship or do I just have to deal with whatever comes my way? I can stand right next to his cage and chat to him and he doesn't show signs of anger/aggression. When I get him to go back to his cage I'm asking him to step up on to a perch rather than my hand- usually because I can't reach where he is but also because I'm too nervous to offer my hand/arm. When he comes out he just climbs out of his own accord- if I offer an arm he ignores me and won't move until I get out of his way so he can climb out himself. I don't care if I'm not his favourite person but something has definitely shifted over the last year and I worry about how nervous I am around him now. I don't know how to try and shift things back to how they were before... I wasn't the favourite but I was able to give him scritches and interact with him more without worrying about him lunging at me.

I'm not familiar with this brand. Do you have a link or a picture you can share with us? I have used liberta cages and Alfie's travel cage is a kings cage. I would buy a kings cage as his main cage but they don't do one big enough*. Alfie currently has a liberta enterprise cage as his main cage. (* = they do plenty of cages which are "big enough" for an African Grey but I wanted the biggest cage I could get)

Absolutely! I don't actually know where these images originally come from - is it facebook? I can see the credit at the bottom so I'll look it up. I only ever catch them when they get shared on other sites and they don't usually link back to the original post (same as what I've just done!). I'll add a link if I can find the original post. I've seen a few and they are always spot on! This one really rung true for Alfie though! Edit: found it! https://www.facebook.com/FelixLaFollett

I saw this and thought of Alfie! 🤣

Alfie has always seemed to pick up male voices easier than female voices. My dad taught him a few words/phrases when he was young. Anything my mum, sister or I tried to teach him was mostly ignored. If my housemate (male) tries to teach Alfie new words/phrases Alfie will often listen and pick them up. I have to work a LOT harder to get Alfie to repeat things that I say. He does say things in my voice, like hello, see you later, bye and night night. He also learned how to say 'what noise' in my voice because I am trying to get him to respond to questions like 'what noise does a duck make' or 'what noise does a chicken make'. So he does listen and can learn female spoken words/phrases... but he always seems to prefer male voices and pick up more words from males than females. He listens a lot more intently to males as well. Whereas with me he will quite often shake his head as if it's a noise he doesn't like. If I lower my voice so it's a bit deeper and say the same phrase/words then he won't shake his head. 😆

Alfie isn't a big talker. He much prefers sounds and whistles to words. However, he does pick up the odd word/phrase and uses it with gusto for a while. He seems to prefer male voices over females voices (which sucks for me as he rarely learns anything I try and teach him!). A while back, my housemate taught him to say "you're a birb!" which sounds very cute when Alfie says it. He goes through phases of saying this and started again recently. However, he has now learned to say "you're a butt!" which is what my housemate and I say to each other when we're joking around. Unfortunately we've obviously said it often enough that Alfie has picked it up and now says it with gusto multiple times a day. It could be a lot worse, of course... and it's quite funny to hear him say it... but it goes to show that even with birds who aren't big talkers, you do have to watch what you say! 😂

I wish it was possible to find out what goes on in their brains. I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you - but they are sensitive souls. It might be that his past experiences were enough to make him super wary of hands and it's going to take a LOT to get over that. He might never like hands. I'm not sure if there's anything you can do to change that... a parrot behaviourist might be able to help?

I try and check in regularly but don't see many new posts. If I think of something to post, I always do - but usually I'm in a rush or can't think of anything at the time.

I've had this problem with Alfie previously and have had to take him to the vet a handful of times to get it trimmed/filed back so it can grow straight again. I keep a very close eye on it and if one side looks to be growing out again I take him back to the vet. Alfie has got better at keeping it in check himself so it's usually a good few years between vet visits. I reckon he's been three or four times over the years. Definitely worth getting it checked out by a vet and trimmed back if it's starting to get bad. Depending how crooked it gets it could impair his ability to eat, drink and move around (as they use their beaks like a third hand for climbing!) The first vet I took Alfie too many years back gassed him for the procedure. The vet I take him to now doesn't use gas, he just towells him and gets on with it. He said he uses a water drill, so Alfie gets a little soggy during the procedure. He is then allowed to fly to the nearest veterinary nurse to get away from the big mean vet before going back in his travel cage. 😂 Alfie reacted badly to the gas and was out of it for a good few hours and threw up - so I never wanted to put him through that again unless he was critically ill and there was no other option. Thankfully I found a better vet!

Oof that video hits hard. Which is obviously the point. It's very well done. I'll be the first person to admit that I haven't always done right by Alfie by giving him the attention he needs all the time. He was always fed and watered with plenty of toys but it was my time that he was lacking on occasion. I did consider re-homing him at one point but figured he hadn't chosen to be in this situation and it was up to me to change things up to suit him. It wasn't fair to just give him up when I was the problem. So I have worked really hard over the years to improve things for Alfie. When I moved and bought my first house I picked it based on how well Alfie would fit in and how he could be centre of attention. I'm still not perfect but I think we're both happier with how things panned out.

It's probably a little difficult to determine if there is an issue from that video alone. I echo the above and say it just looks like he is sleepy and preparing for a nap. Please also be aware that we are not vets and therefore would be unable to diagnose any health issue on these forums. If the behaviour is new and unusual and you have any concerns then I would recommend getting in touch with an avian specialist vet. If he is lethargic and has stopped eating and behaving normally then this is usually a sign that something is wrong. Is he eating ok? Pooping ok? Otherwise behaving normally? Is he playing and moving around as normal? Greys do shiver/quiver - usually on their chest. According to some sources this is a sign of "emotion". However, when coupled with other symptoms then it could also be a sign that something isn't right. If in doubt, consult with a specialist vet.

Yeah... He out smarts me every time! 😂

Alfie loves whistling and loves to learn new noises... but he's not a particularly big talker. In fact, he's a bit of closet talker, preferring to practice when he thinks I'm not around or not listening. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't talk much. It always amazes when I do see videos of very talkative birds- particularly those that clearly show an understanding of what to say and when. I always knew that Alfie might not be a big talker when I got him. He says a few words but he picks and chooses what he wants to learn, and how often he wants to use it. He has neglected some words and phrases which he used to say and no amount of repeating it or encouraging it will make him use them again. He has always favoured whistles and noises (the louder and more obnoxious, the better!) and that's ok with me.

Alfie is an awkward little bugger. He shows no interest whatsover in what I'm eating and will never venture over to see/steal what's on my plate. He's not particularly great at eating his veggies but will eat fresh fruit. He will eat dried/dehydrated veggies more often than fresh/cooked veggies. Pellets were an absolute no no. They got tipped or flung out of his bowl at high velocity. I have tried every make I can get my hands on to no avail... until recently when I tried him on tropican pellets.I got the really small ones which are yellow and green and have a very fruity smell to them. He will actually seek them out in his bowl. I mix these in with a seed, nut, dried fruit and dried veggie mix. It also has some larger tropican pellets/sticks in which I think he mostly eats round/avoids. In good news though, I'm seeing a lot less food wastage with this particular mix. I end up buying four or five different products and mixing them all in his food bin. It's working for now. I persevere with trying to get him to eat fresh foods but most of that gets tossed to one side!

Happy new year everyone!

Not sure it counts as a tradition or not, but I always try to take Alfie with me to my parents house on Christmas. I then sleep over at theirs and he gets to help eat the Christmas dinner and boxing day dinners. (He likes my mum's cooked veggies but doesn't touch any that I cook for him... favourtism!! 🙄) I say 'try' to take him with me because I have to convince him to get in the travel cage first. He's getting better at it but in previous years I have had to leave him at home because he took himself back into his cage rather than going in the travel cage then refused to come out! This year he stepped into it on the first time of asking, which is a first! When it happened I was so shocked I said it was a Christmas miracle! Normally he likes to give me the run around before getting in it. I can't wrap presents for him because he loathes wrapping paper. He growls at it. He wasn't too bad with it this year when I was wrapping presents because I used brown paper rather than the usual stuff, so it looks, moves and sounds different I guess. However, I didn't buy him any toys because he has quite a few new toys that he hasn't touched yet. I'm also planning on getting some food, treats and new perches in January. The cats got their Christmas present early at the start of December- they got a new cat tree!

I love Einstein too! He's hilarious!

I second what greytness said - parrots are very good at masking/hiding illnesses so a change in behaviour like that can sometimes indicate there is a problem. If it were my bird, I would get him to the vet ASAP.

Great idea for a toy and really kind of you to donate toys to a rescue as well!

These are all foot toys! I think it covers anything that they can pick up and hold with their foot to chew/shred/throw etc etc. Alfie very rarely bothers holding toys with his foot. He prefers to fling them at me and watch me fetch them!

If there is, I haven't found it! For Alfie, I put things on the floor. He prefers being up high so anything I don't want him to mess with goes on the floor when he's out. He very rarely explores the floor so everything is generally safe there. With Pixel and Widget... NOTHING is safe. 🙄

Alfie seems to have been hard hard by his hormones this year. I only had to walk into the room and say hello and he would start regurgitating. Only thing is he will then immediately eat it afterwards. Gross! I also had to be really careful what foot toys I gave him. Anything round was out of the question as he would treat it like an egg rather than flinging it at my head like he usually does. After that he went through a spell of being quite distant from me and then he would fly to the back of my head and bite it. That was after some upheaval when I was decorating the rest of the house though... and I also decided to cut my hair really short so I think it was just too much change in a short time. At the moment we are in some kind of middle ground. He will let me scritch him out of the cage on occassion but he will not put his head down for scritches whilst he is in his cage. He reserves that for my housemate instead these days. He follows me round the room to see what I'm up to and will fly to me as well (without attacking the back of my head).

Haha too funny! Widget and Pixel are like no other cats I have ever known. My housemate came up with the idea of bengals because I was dubious about having cats. I'm very much a dog person and have always been more wary around cats. He sold me on them because of their personality traits and activity levels. They are both extremely vocal and super active. Widget is VERY smart and will sit and observe and work things out... like how to open doors. Pixel will just charge in head first without a second thought, whereas Widget is more calculated about things. They both chase anything that moves. I have watch Widget jump a few feet in the air and catch a fly mid-flight... so you can see why I don't trust them with Alfie flying around! They are also exceptionally loyal. They are almost dog like in how they know when we are coming home and rush over to greet us. And it's not even just because they are hungry- they seem to genuinely enjoy being in our company and will follow us around the house. They do play together but they play ROUGH. They will fling each other around. Pixel will usually instigate it then scream the house down when Widget goes too far. She's a little princess sometimes. 😂

They look absolutely adorable and I'm glad they are settling in so well!

I love the three bell perch. I've not seen anything like that before. I reckon Alfie would love that! Still no luck with getting him to go near it, but I'm sure he'll get there eventually. I did consider wrapping the outside in rope too... but I'll see how he takes to it first and might add that later. And yes... I can almost guarantee there will be food splattered up the walls!! 😂 The cat is one of my benglas, yes. That one is Pixel, my little girl. Well I say little, they'll both be 9 years old later this month. My boy Widget was sound asleep upstairs at the time otherwise he probably would have been in the photo too. They just dive into everything haha. The cat tree is a floor to ceiling one. It's in the living room where Alfie lives. When he comes out, I shut the living room door so the cats play upstairs and Alfie plays downstairs. They are never allowed in the same space when Alfie is out as I'm too worried about accidents happening. They pretty much ignore him whilst he's in his cage other than sniffing around him sometimes. They know better than to stick a paw in. When Alfie is out the cat tree is one of the higher 'perches' in the room so he often flies up there to scope out the room (and chew the curtains). He sometimes climbs it too if he lands on a lower part of it. So it's a multi-function cat and parrot tree. 😎